NiGHTS into Randomness
by Lady Twilight Prime
Summary: Watch and be amazed as NiGHTS, Jackle, Reala, and all of your favorite Nightmaren act out some of the funniest videos on the internet!
1. Reala the Nightmaren

LTP: HEY EVRYBODY! IT'S LADY TWILIGHT PRIME WITH A NEW STORY AFTER NEARLY TWO YEARS OF WRITER'S BLOCK!

NiGHTS: This is gonna be fun!

Jackle: LET'S PLAY 52 PICKUP! 8D

LTP: Later Jackle.

Reala: How in Wizeman's name did you manage to drag me into this...

LTP: Now NiGHTS, SAY THE DISCLAIMER!

NiGHTS: Lady Twilight Prime does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NIGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Charlie the Unicorn.

LTP: ENJOY THE SHOW! *cuddles a pug*

quick note: NiGHTS is female in this story. Sorry male NiGHTS fans.

* * *

Reala the Nightmaren

(Camera fades to light in Reala's quarters, where said Nightmaren is currently asleep as NiGHTS and Jackle slip inside)

NiGHTS: Hey Reala, hey Reala wake up!

Jackle: yeah Reala, ya silly sleepy-head, wake up!

Reala: *groans* Oh Wizeman you guys. This had better be pretty freaking important, does Wizeman need something?

NiGHTS: No Reala, we found a map to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain Reala!

Jackle: Yeah Reala, we're going to Candy Mountain! come with us Reala!

NiGHTS: Yeah Reala! It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure Reala!

Reala: ... Yeah Candy Mountain right. I'm just gonna, you know, go back to sleep now.

NiGHTS: NOOO REALA! *starts jumping on Reala* You have to come with us to Candy Mountain!

Jackle: Yeah Reala! Candy Mountain! It's a land of sweets and joy and joyness!

Reala: Please stop bouncing on me.

NiGHTS: CANDY MOUNTAIN REALA!

Jackle: Yeah, Candy Mountain!

Reala: Alright fine. I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!

(later, in Pure Valley)

NiGHTS & Jackle: La la la, la la, la la la la, la la la

Reala: Ugh, enough with the singing already!

NiGHTS: Our first stop is over there Reala!

(camera zooms out to reveal Gillwing laying on a large rock)

Reala: Oh Wizeman, what is that?

NiGHTS: It's a Liopleurodon, Reala!

Jackle: A magical Liopleurodon!

NiGHTS: It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain

Reala: Alright guys, you _DO_ know there's no actual Candy Mountain, right?

NiGHTS: Shun the non-believer!

Jackle: Shhuunn!

NiGHTS: Sssshhhhuuuunnnnn-na!

Reala: Yeah.

Gillwing: *makes various noises and growls*

NiGHTS: It has spoken!

Jackle: It has told us the waaaaayyyy!

Reala: It didn't say anything!

(later, on some random bridge in Stick Canyon)

NiGHTS: It's just over this bridge Reala!

Jackle: This magical bridge, of hope and wonder!

Reala: Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriously guys, we shouldn't be on this thing.

NiGHTS: Reala... Reala~... Reala~... Rea~

Reala: I'm right here! What do you want!?

NiGHTS: We're on a bridge Reala!

(later again, in Memory Forest)

Jackle: We're here!

(camera zooms out to reveal a totally NOT-fake mountain made of candy with a sign that reads CANDY MOUNTAIN in large red letters)

Reala: Well what do you know? There actually is a Candy Mountain.

NiGHTS: Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain! *starts teleporting around randomly around the "mountain"* You fill me with sweet sugary goodness!

Jackle: Go inside the Candy Mountain cave Reala!

NiGHTS: Yeah Reala! Go inside the cave! Magical wonders that'll behold when you enter!

Reala: Yeah, uh, thanks but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here.

Jackle: But you _have_ to enter the Candy Mountain candy cave Reala!

(music starts playing while the letters spelling CANDY jump out and turn into low level Nightmaren.)

Unnamed Nightmaren: *sings*

Oh! When you're down and looking for some cheering up,  
Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain cave  
When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land  
Such a happy and joyful and perky, merry land  
They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things  
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day  
It's impossible to wear a frown in candy town  
It's the mecca of love, the candy cave  
They've got jelly beans and coconuts with little hats  
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets  
Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band  
Candy bells it's a treat as they march across the land  
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground  
Turn around  
It astounds!  
It's a dancing candy tree  
In the candy cave imagination runs so free  
So now Reala, please will you go into the cave?

(low level Nightmaren fly into each other and explode in a burst of flames)

Reala: All right fine, I'll go into the freaking candy cave. This had better be good. *enters the cave*

NiGHTS and Jackle: Yeah!

NiGHTS: goodbye, Reala!

Jackle: yeah, goodbye Reala!

Reala: Goodbye, what?

(the cave suddenly becomes dark)

Reala: Hey, what's going on here? Hello? Who is that? *gets knocked out*

(later once again in the Memory Forest, Reala wakes up)

Reala: Ow, Wizeman, what happened? *notices a stitched up incision on his side* Oh, they took my freaking kidney!

* * *

LTP: YAYS!

Reala: That was humiliating.

NiGHTS: I thought it was funny!

Reala: Of course you would.

Jackle: NOW CAN WE PLAY 52 PICKUP!?

LTP: OF COURSE WE CAN!

Jackle: YIPPEE! *tosses hundreds of cards in the air* 52 PICKUP!

LTP: Hey, stick around people, we'll have more stuff up before you know it!

Reala: MORE!? Oh Wizeman, kill me now!


	2. Nightmaren with Hats

LTP: HEY EVERYONE! WE'RE BACK AGAIN WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER!

Reala: Great...

LTP: Oh, don't be such a baby Reala, you're not even in this sketch. Now say the disclaimer.

Reala: What!? Why do I have to do it!?

LTP: 'Cause NiGHTS and Jackle are preparing for their scene and I'm too lazy to say it, so that leaves you to do it by process of elimination!

Reala: Well, forget it! I refuse to bend to the will of a pathetic Visitor again!

LTP: -.- If you don't do it, I'll unleash Cerberus upon you, plus I marinated your clothes in bacon last night while you were sleeping. Now what was your response again?

Reala: *grumbles* LTP Does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Llamas with Hats. Happy now?

LTP: Very. NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE SHOW!

* * *

Nightmaren With Hats

(NiGHTS and Jackle are in Jackle's room and there is a dead man between them with no hands and stab wounds in his chest.)

NiGHTS: Jackle! There is a dead Visitor in your room!

Jackle: Oh…hey…How did he get here?

NiGHTS: Jaaaackle, what did you do?!

Jackle: Me? Uh, I didn't do this!

NiGHTS: Explain what happened, Jackle!

Jackle: I've never seen him before in my life!

NiGHTS: Why did you kill this Visitor, Jackle?

Jackle: I do not kill people. That is…that is my least favorite thing to do.

NiGHTS: Tell me, Jackle, exactly what you were doing before I came here.

Jackle: Alright, well…I was upstairs…

NiGHTS: Okay…

Jackle: I was uh…I was sitting in my room…

NiGHTS: Yes?

Jackle: Playing 52 pickup…

NiGHTS: Go on…

Jackle: And, uh, well this guy walked in…

NiGHTS: Okay…

Jackle: So, I went up to him…

NiGHTS: Yes…

Jackle: And I…I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

(Silence.)

NiGHTS: Jaaaaaaaaaaaaackle, that KILLS people!

Jackle: Oh! Well, I didn't know that!

NiGHTS: How could you not know that?!

Jackle: Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck

(NiGHTS notices the human's missing hands)

NiGHTS: What happened to his hands?

Jackle: What's that?

NiGHTS: His hands. Why—why are they missing?

Jackle: Well, I kind of umm…cooked them up. And ate them.

(silence)

NiGHTS: Jaaaaaaaaaackle!

Jackle: Well, I—I was hungry. And well, you know, when you crave hands…

NiGHTS: Why on earth would you do that?!

Jackle: I was hungry for hands! Gimme a break!

NiGHTS: Jaaaaaackle!

Jackle: My stomach was making the rumblies.

NiGHTS: Jackle!

Jackle: That only hands would satisfy!

NiGHTS: What is wrong with you, Jackle?!

Jackle: Well, I kill people and I eat hands! That's—that's two things!

* * *

LTP: Ya' know, I get the feeling that Jackle probably _would _do something like this_._

NiGHTS: Why do you say that?

LTP: 'Cause Jackle's gnawing on the dummy like it's a chew toy.

(camera pans to Jackle shaking the human dummy around in his mouth like a dog)

NiGHTS: Oh. Hey, where's Reala?

LTP: Probably trying to get the smell of bacon out of his clothes.

NiGHTS: ... Do I even want to know?

LTP: Probably not. 'Kay everybody, time to wrap up this episode, see ya'll next time!

NiGHTS: See you all soon!

Jackle: BARK, BARK!


	3. 8 Drunk Nightmaren Play Slender

LTP: Hehe, I've been waiting to pull this one out.

Disclaimer: Lady Twilight Prime does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, SLENDER, or the 11 drunk guys.

Quick note: I have no idea as to who is who in the original video, plus this is a shortened version of the original, so bear with me on this. Also, I do not approve of drinking irresponsibly.

* * *

Eight Drunk Nightmaren Play Slender

Eight Nightmaren,

one castle,

one game,

... and a lot of alcohol

(camera zooms in on a random party in Reala's room. NiGHTS is in front of a laptop, Jackle is next to NiGHTS trying to help her find the pages, Reala is sitting next to NiGHTS and has a camera in one hand and a bottle of sake in another and is recording everything. Puffy and Donbalon are tossing pillows at each other, Chamelon and Queen Bella are arguing about nothing, Bomamba is mixing up some drinks and everyone is drunk out of their minds.)

NiGHTS: Are we recording ourselves right now?

Reala: Yes.

NiGHTS: We are?

Chamelon: Do not go near the fence!

Queen Bella: Shut the f*** up!

Reala: Don't stop f***in- start walking!

Jackle: It's on the big tree, the big tree in the middle

Chamelon: Yeah, but then you gotta find seven more.

Puffy: Don't EVER look behind you.

NiGHTS: *picks up a page* Can't run! Woo-hoohoohoo!

*scary music starts playing*

Bomamba: How do you look at the page?

Donbalon:*jumping up and down* F*** F*** F***!

NiGHTS: Does somebody else want to play?

Jackle: Are you scared? I'll f***ing play!

Queen Bella: Whoever's the drunkest gets to play 'cuz it'll be entertaining.

Bomamba: Don't turn around-

Puffy: Oh, god you're dead.

Chamelon: 'Kay, GO!

*Jackle and NiGHTS try switching places*

Jackle: I'm trying but you're in the w- OH GOD!

NiGHTS: WAAAAHH!

Reala: God, you're so f***ed!

Jackle: How do you run?

Donbalon: Shift, hold shift.

*Jackle accidently turns on the calculator*

Reala & Chamelon: What the f***!?

Reala: *gets in Jackle's face* YOU F***ING TURNED ON THE CALCULATOR!

Jackle: You're f***ing laptop sucks! I hate the keyboard layout!

Donbalon: What'd you do!? What you do!?

Bomamba: Click on Slender! Click on Slender!

Jackle: I can't, THERE'S NO MOUSE!

NiGHTS: *spinning herself around and giggling creepily*

Reala: *starts chugging his bottle of sake*

Jackle: *throws up arms and knocks Bomamba over* THE MOUSE IS GONE!

Chamelon: It'll be right behind you.

Puffy: Wait, can it catch you or-

*static appears on screen, meaning Slender is close*

NiGHTS: NOOOOO!

Reala: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! HOLY S***!

Everyone: *various screaming and panicking*

Reala: Hold Shift! Hold Shift! Hold Shift!

Puffy: Run, run, run, run, run!

Reala: Hold Shift!

Jackle: I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying! WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Reala: Hold Shift! Hold Shift to run!

NiGHTS: *starts chugging some of Reala's sake*

Reala: Hold Shift!

Jackle: I'm holding CAPSLOCK!

Reala: *throttling Jackle* Hold Shift you f***er!

Donbalon: *chucks an empty sake bottle at Reala* I told you his laptop sucks!

Jackle: Everyone shut the f*** up!

Chamelon: Oh, f***, are we being recorded?

Bomamba: Turn around.

Queen Bella: You gotta find the pages.

NiGHTS: YOU GOTTA FIND THE F***ING PAGES!

Reala: Ass!

Donbalon: Turn around. turn around.

Queen Bella: Don't turn around!

Bomamba: *screams randomly*

Puffy: WHOA! HE'S THERE! TURN AROUND!

NiGHTS: AAAHHH! *grabs onto Reala*

Everyone but Donbalon: *various screaming and cursing*

Donbalon: OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG!

*Jackle is now in the house in the game*

Queen Bella: Straight. Run!

Chamelon: Straight, straight, straightstraightstraightstraight! Oh my god why are you back here!? No stop- WAAAAHH! OMG!

Everyone but Reala: *more screaming and cursing*

Reala: *throws up on floor*

Puffy: *grabs onto NiGHTS* Run, run, run, run, run, run!

NiGHTS: *shakes Puffy* The chair! Why is the chair scaring us!?

*back outside in the game*

Reala: The house! It's at the house!

Jackle: Where?

Bomamba: It's so scary in there. Go in there, go in there.

Donbalon: To your right. To you right, to your right, to your ri-AAAAAHHHH! *Slenderman appears*

Puffy: *cleaning Reala's mess*

Everyone but Puffy and NiGHTS: *even more screaming and cursing

NiGHTS: *screams a few seconds late and dives across the room*

Bomamba: *starts pouring herself more shots of whisky*

Reala: DON'T GO TO THE FENCE!

Jackle: Noo! OMG! He was behind the tree!

Chamelon: What size is your hard on?

Donbalon: House it up, man.

Reala: HOUSE THAT S*** UP!

Queen Bella: It's all about the f***in' house!

Chamelon: Doopiiissss!

*Jackle accidently turns off the flashlight*

Jackle: AAAAAHHH!

*turn flashlight back on*

NiGHTS: NEVER TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!

Puffy: Go right, go right, go right.

Reala: *gets in Jackle's face* DON'T F***ING GO RIGHT YOU F***ING F***OT F***!

Queen Bella: WHAT IS WITH THE FRAME RATE!?

Donbalon: The frame rate is s***ty as balls!

Chamelon: Do not look up, do not look up.

*Slenderman appears*

Everyone but NiGHTS: *even more screaming and cursing*

NiGHTS: *dancing gangnam style across the room*

Reala: F***! F***ing idiot! F***!

Queen Bella: It goes in a circle, take a sharp left. *pauses* Take a sharp left!

*Jackle goes left*

Puffy: NO, not that sharp!

Reala: If you don't get the pages, he's gonna f*** you in the ass!

Donbalon: That's what I'm talking about...

Everyone: *leaning to the left* Leftleftleftleftleftleftleftleftleft!

NiGHTS: *mini Xena yell*

Chamelon: Around the tunnel, left!

*music gets really spooky*

Bomamba: Really? Does no one finish this first level?

Reala: This is the only level!

*Jackle gets caught by slenderman*

Everyone: *starts freaking out*

NiGHTS and Reala: *holding each other while screaming their heads off*

Puffy, Chamelon, & Bomamba: *hitting Jackle with various objects*

Jackle: *hunched over table with his face on the keyboard*

Donbalon: *faints*

Queen Bella: *huddles in a corner*

*a few minutes later*

Everyone but Donbalon: *laughs at Jackle*

NiGHTS and Reala: *laughing like a pair of drunks* WHOO!

Jackle: What the f***!? What the f***!? That wasn't fair! That wasn't fair, I spilled my drink!

Reala: *laughs* This game is an ass****!

Chamelon: *drunken babble*

NiGHTS: I hate this s***!

*MEANWHILE, WITH WIZEMAN*

*several types of empty alcohol bottles are gathered around Wizeman's non-existent feet*

Wizeman: WORSHIP ME!

* * *

LTP: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! I LOVE THOSE GUYS! Okay, I'm gonna try to get everyone sobered up, see ya'll next time! Don't forget to review.


	4. Reala the Nightmaren 2

LTP, NiGHTS, and Jackle: *going over the next script and laughing loudly about it*

Reala: *holding an ice pack to his head* WILL YOU THREE KEEP IT DOWN!? I'm still hung over from the last chapter!

LTP: Then hurry up and get some coffee, we got a sketch to do!

Reala: *grumbles and flies off to the break room*

LTP: NiGHTS, go give Reala a kiss to help him feel better.

NiGHTS: Okay! *flies of after Reala*

Jackle: ... you're a NiGHTSxReala supporter aren't you?

LTP: BINGO! And your prize is getting to say the disclaimer!

Jackle: Is that it?

LTP: And a lovely hambone! *pulls out a large hambone and waves it around*

Jackle: *dreamy eyes* Lady Twilight Prime does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Charlie the Unicorn! NOW GIMMIE THE HAMBONE!

LTP: Here ya go! *tosses hambone to Jackle*

Jackle: *catches hambone in his mouth like a dog*

*NiGHTS and Reala return. NiGHTS is giggling and Reala has a bright red blush on his face*

LTP: Ok great, you two are back! NOW LET'S GET SHOW ON THE ROAD!

* * *

Reala The Nightmaren 2

(Reala is in his room, watching TV. Jackle and NiGHTS are floating above Reala, wearing scuba goggles, flippers, and air tanks with snorkels, pretending to swim)

NiGHTS and Jackle: Glub...Glub glub...glub glub...glub glub...glub glub...

NiGHTS: Look over there! It's a coral reef.

Reala: Oh look, it's you guys...and you're floating.

NiGHTS: Reala, we're scuba diving, Reala.

Jackle: We're exploring the depths of the ocean blue.

NiGHTS: Oh no! Here comes a school of poisonous fugu fish!

Jackle: Nooo! Fugu!

Reala: Ah, you gotta watch out for those. So, uh... go away. I'm watching TV.

(A blue vortex appears on Reala's back)

NiGHTS: The vortex is open!

Reala: Oh Wizeman. Okay, what is this?!

Jackle: Reala! We're being pulled into the vortex! Swim away, fugu fish, swim away!

Reala: Come on now. You guys are freaking me out! Turn this thing off!

NiGHTS: There's no stopping the vortex, Reala!

Jackle: Fuuuguuuu!

(Jackle and NiGHTS disappear, along with the vortex)

Reala: Guys? Guuuys?

(The vortex appears with NiGHTS's head sticking out)

NiGHTS: (In echoey voice:)Reala! Reala, I have the amulet!

Reala: What amulet?! What's going on?!

NiGHTS: The amulet, Reala! The magical amulet! Sparkles sparkles!

(Jackle appears briefly)

Jackle: Sp! Sparkle!

Reala: I, I don't understand what you're talking about!

NiGHTS: The amulet... Nyeh! Nyeh!

(NiGHTS disappears. Both Jackle and NiGHTS pop out of the vortex, which disappears. NiGHTS has the amulet around her non-existent neck. Their scuba outfits are gone.)

NiGHTS: We did it!

Jackle: We got the amulet!

Reala: Great. Now go away! I'm tired of the horrible things that happen when you're around!

NiGHTS: No, Reala!

Jackle: No!

(Jackle and NiGHTS puff up while screaming "No", then turn back to normal)

NiGHTS: We have to take the amulet to the Banana King.

Reala: Oh, yes, the Banana King, of course. Absolutely not!

Jackle: He, he's counting on us, Reala! ah... *floating*

NiGHTS: If we don't give the amulet to the Banana King, the vortex will open and let out a thousand years of darkness.

Jackle: No! Darkness! (Jackle is floating in the air)

(The vortex appears again with tentacles sticking out. Roaring is heard.)

Reala: Ah! All right, fine! I'll go! I'll go!

Jackle and NiGHTS: Yay! (Just Jackle) Darkness!

(Later in Memory Forest. Jackle and NiGHTS are making tongue-blooping sounds)

Reala: What are you two doing?

(Jackle and NiGHTS pause for a moment then continue with their tongue-blooping)

Reala: Stop that.

(NiGHTS makes one last tongue-bloop before the three stop in front of a big Letter Z)

Reala: Oh, look at that.

Jackle and NiGHTS: Z!

NiGHTS: ¡El hombre con el sombrero nos envió! (The man with the hat sent us!)

Jackle: ¡Él nos cuenta muchas historias asombrosas! (He told us many amazing stories!)

(The Letter Z makes pinging sounds)

Jackle and NiGHTS: Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

Reala: What?

Jackle: ¡Cenemos en tortugas esta noche! (Tonight we dine on turtles!)

NiGHTS: ¡Se ven buenos, elos, Z! (They look good, hey, Z!)

(The Letter Z shoots a laser at Reala)

Reala: Ahh! What did you two do?!

Jackle and NiGHTS: Z!

NiGHTS: ¡Soy félez! (I'm happy!)

(The Letter Z, again, makes pinging sounds)

Jackle and NiGHTS: Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

Reala: *mumbled* Just keep walking, Reala, keep walking...

(The three stop in front of a giant sneaker)

NiGHTS: Hop on board the train, Reala.

Jackle: It's gonna take us to the Banana King.

Reala: I don't see any train. All I see is a giant sneaker.

NiGHTS: It's the Choo Choo Shoe, Reala.

Jackle: The Choo Choo Shoe!

NiGHTS: Hurry, Reala. It's about to leave.

(Jackle and NiGHTS get in the sneaker)

Jackle and NiGHTS: Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shoe shoooooe! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shooe shoooooe!

Reala: Yeah, uh I forgot my boarding pass. I'll just walk.

(later, the three arrive at a banana-themed temple emblazoned with the words EX ORIENTE LUX BANANA.)

Jackle: We're here, Reala!

NiGHTS: The Temple of the Banana King!

Reala: Great. Let's leave the amulet and go home.

(Chamelon appears out of nowhere with a big smile on his face)

Reala: Who is that?

(Silence)

Reala: No, no really. You guys see it, right?

(Silence)

Reala: I gotta be honest. I'm getting creeped out here. Somebody say something!

(Chamelon suddenly starts to sing)

Chamelon: *singing* ~Reala, you look quite down with your big fat eyes and your big fat frown. The world doesn't have to be so grey. Reala, when your life's a mess, When you're feeling blue, always in distress, I know what can wash that sad away. All you have to do is...Put a banana in your ear!~

Reala: A banana in my ear?

Chamelon: ~Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear! It's true.~

Reala: Says who?

Chamelon: ~So true. Once it's in your gloom will disappear. The bad in the world is hard to hear, When in your ear a banana cheers. So go and put a banana in your ear!~

Chamelon and Bananas: ~Put a banana in your ear!~

Reala: I'd rather keep my ear clear.

Chamelon and Bananas: You'll ne'er be happy if you live your life in fear. It's true.

Reala: Says you.

Chamelon and Bananas: ~So true. When it's in the skies are bright and clear. Oh every day of every year. The sun shines bright on this big blue sphere. So go and put a banana-~

Chamelon: ~-in your earrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!~

(Chamelon disappears in flames)

Reala: Oh, of course, he burst into flames.

NiGHTS: Go fourth, magical amulet! Return to the Banana King!

(The amulet goes forth from around NiGHTS' non-existent neck, floats into the air, and shines a beam of light at Reala)

NiGHTS: Reala! YOU'RE the Banana King!

(Reala is floating to the amulet from the beam of light)

Reala: What? Hey, hey, hold on a minute!

(A banana appears on Reala's back)

Banana: You're the Banana King, Reala!

Reala: No! I'm not! That doesn't even make sense!

NiGHTS: All hail the Banana King!

Reala: I'm not the Banana King!

NiGHTS: You ARE the Banana King!

Reala: No, NO! I...I...

(Suddenly, more bananas appear on Reala's back)

Bananas: Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana!

(A crown plops on Reala's head)

Reala: I...I AM the Banana King!

Jackle and NiGHTS: Yay!

Banana: You ARE the Banana King!

Reala: I'm the Banana King! Yeah!

(Reala notices that Jackle and NiGHTS have disappeared)

Reala: Heh, hey... Where'd you go? Guys? Hello? Get me down from here!

(The beam of light disappears, causing Reala and the amulet to fall on the ground, and the crown falls off of Reala's head)

Reala: Augh! Okay, that's a sprain.

(Later, back at Nightmare castle, Reala is walking through the hall alone)

Reala: Hello? Hellooo?! Guys, where are you?

(Reala enters his room and sees that his TV and the rest of his stuff is gone)

Reala: Argh! You gotta be...Great! They robbed me!

(Suddenly, the vortex from earlier appears, with NiGHTS' head sticking out)

Reala: Ahh!

NiGHTS: Reala!

Reala: What?! What do you want?!

(Silence)

NiGHTS: *Tongue-bloop noise from earlier.*

* * *

Reala: *to LTP* I... HATE... YOU...

LTP: How many times have I heard that statment?

Jackle: *chewing on his hambone*

NiGHTS: Oh, calm down Ree. I know what'll make you feel better. *whispers something in Reala's non-existent ear*

Reala: *blushes* ... NiGHTS and I will be right back, we have a few... things to discuss. *flies off with NiGHTS in tow*

LTP: ... I don't think we'll be seeing them for a while, so, see ya'll next time with more sketches! and don't forget to review!


	5. Jackle the Mantle's Mini Musical

LTP: ... Alright Jackle, since NiGHTS and Reala haven't come back yet, we're just gonna have to do the show without them.

Jackle: How can we do the show without them?

LTP: Thankfully, I have a series of songs lined up for just such a situation. And I'll actually help out with some of them.

Jackle: SWEET! JACKLE GETS A MUSICAL!

LTP: But first, SAY THE DISCLAIMER!

Jackle: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or any of the following songs.

LTP: NOW LET'S START THE SHOW! 8D

* * *

Jackle the Mantle's Mini Musical

Jackle is a Banana

*Opens with LTP in the kitchen, washing the dishes when Jackle comes in with a huge grin on his face*

Jackle: *eye twitch* LTP! 8D

LTP: *jumps a little and turns off the sink* What Jackle?

Jackle: I'm a banana!

LTP: You're a what?

Jackle: *now wearing a black long-sleeve shirt and black pants* I'm a banana!

LTP: What happened to your clothes?

Jackle: *now wearing a banana costume* I'M A BANANA!

*Jackle starts singing*

I'm a banana,  
I'm a banana,  
I'm a banana,  
LOOK AT ME MOVE!

Yeah, Yeah.

I'm a banana,  
I'm a banana,  
I'm a banana,  
LOOK AT ME MOVE!

ARW, ARW.

Banana power,  
Banana power,  
Banana power,

Pow, Pow, Pow, Pow, Pow, Power.

Banana power,  
Banana power,  
Banana power,  
LOOK AT ME MOVE!

Uh Oh banana time,  
Uh Oh banana time,  
Uh Oh banana time,  
STOP!

*random noises*

Stop!

*Random noises*

STOP!

Cart, Fart, Smart, Dart, Heart, Tart, Cart, Mart, Cart, Smart, Dart, Fart, Tart, Fart, Dart

*Weird Noise*

*LTP comes in wearing a chicken costume and starts singing*

Chicka,  
Chicka,  
Chicka,  
I am Chicka Chicky,  
*weird noises*

Chicky *weird noises*

*Jackle takes over*

Stop!

*takes breathe*  
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL,  
Look at,  
Look at me,  
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL,  
Look at me move,

I'm a banana,  
I'm a banana,  
I'm a banana,  
*strange howling*  
*small explosion*  
*Mega explosion*

{~~~}

What Makes Jackle Happy

*opens in a field in Pure Valley where LTP is sad for some reason*

LTP: *crying*

*Jackle comes in*

Jackle: LTP, what's wrong? You look kinda sad.

LTP: I am sad.

Jackle: OH NO!

LTP: I know, it's terrible.

Jackle: *waving hands around* LTP!

LTP: I'm sad. So sad.

Jackle: Well, when I'm feeling sad, I sing about all the things in the world that make me happy!

*music starts playing and Jackle starts singing*

~An apple pie,  
A bright blue sky,  
A breezy meadow in July..  
An ice cream bar,  
A shooting star,  
The sound of a steel guitar..~

LTP: That is wonderful!

~I love the sound of rain,  
Wearing a hat and cane,  
Tiffany window panes, lovely to see..~

~Frost on a windowsill,  
The feel of a dollar bill.  
Vacations in Brazil feel me with glee..~

~These are all the little things that make me smile,  
This is all the stuff that makes life worthwhile.  
Everybody knows the Holocaust was a lie,  
So let's sing about the things we like and don't be shy..~

LTP: Wait, what was that about the Holocaust?

~A strip of lace,  
A pretty face,  
Eugenics really makes the case.  
Counting sheeps in froggy leaps,  
Touching LTP inappropriately while she sleeps..~

LTP: HEY!

~I love the feel of grain,  
The screams of a man in pain.  
Blood coming down like rain showering me.  
That everlasting thrill during the final kill,  
Body dumped in a landfill, got off scott free.~

~These are all the little things that make me smile,  
This is all the stuff that makes life worthwhile..  
One day i will eat your brain and it'll be great,  
So let's sing about the things we like and meet your fate..!~

LTP: ... That was, uh, great. Thanks, you really... cheered me up.

Jackle: ... YOU WHORE!

{~~~}

Jackle is Really Special 'Cause There's Only One of Him

*opens on the stage in Memory Forest. Jackle starts singing while LTP plays a guitar*

I am really special 'cause there's only one of me,  
look at my smile, I'm so damn happy and other people are jealous of me!

When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song,  
it cheers me and shows me that I won't be sad for long!

Oh oh oh,

I'm so haaappyyy, I can barely breathe,  
puppy dogs and sugar frogs, and kittens baby teeth!

Watch out all you mothers,  
I'm happy as hardcore,  
happy as a coupon for a twenty dollar whore!

hahaha,

Oh I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me,  
happy good anger bad, that's my philosophy!

*less enthusiasm*

I can't do this man I'm not happy.

*more enthusiasm*

I am really special 'cause there's only one of me,  
look at my smile, I'm so damn happy other people are jealous of me!

These are my love handles,  
and this is my spout,  
but if you tip me over,  
then mamma's gonna knock you out!

I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave,  
welcome to my happy world,  
now get your s*** and leave!

I am happy I am good I am...  
I'm outta here! ...Screw you!

* * *

LTP: And that just about wraps up Jackle the Mantle's Mini Musical!

Jackle: Aaaww... I was having fun.

*NiGHTS and Reala return. Reala looks calmer, almost happy...*

LTP: Finally! Where the hell have you two been? Jackle and I just finished the chapter.

Reala: We were... discussing some things...

NiGHTS: :3

LTP: ... Right... well anyway, here's the next script and this time, DON'T BE LATE! *looks at camera* SEE YA'LL NEXT TIME PEOPLE!

Click the review button, you know you want to~


	6. NiGHTS and Reala Play Portal 2

LTP: And we're back!

Reala: Where the hell is Jackle?

LTP: I gave him the day off for being such a good sport last chapter. anyway, NiGHTS say the disclaimer.

NiGHTS: Lady Twilight Prime does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Two Best Friends, or Portal2.

LTP: SHOWTIME!

* * *

NiGHTS & Reala Play Portal 2

*opens in Reala's room. NiGHTS and Reala are sitting in front of a large TV and NiGHTS has a controller in her hands*

Reala: *Sounds exasperated* Okay, let's do this. Let's get this over with.

NiGHTS: This is gonna be fun, right?

Reala: Okay, yeah, the game is awesome, but...You're an idiot.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: So, you use, you use portals, right?

Reala: You're f***in' with me right?

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Kay, what do I do? Where's my guns?

Reala: There are no guns.

NiGHTS: What? Why am I playing this?

{~~~}

*classical music is playing, then a buzzer is heard*

NiGHTS: Yeeh!

Reala: Really?

NiGHTS: I'm not prepared for like, loud buzzing noises.

Reala: What are you prepared for?

NiGHTS: Not this, whateve-

Reala: Sleeping.

NiGHTS: Finally.

Reala: Go to sleep

NiGHTS: After all my hard work, I've earned it.

{~~~}

Wheatley: And it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.

Reala: That's amazing, the game knows you have f***ing brain damage.

{~~~}

Wheatly: That's the spirit!

Reala: You idiot.

NiGHTS: Yay!

*NiGHTS jumps down*

NiGHTS: JUMP!

Reala: Just, just f***in' kill me now.

{~~~}

*Portal opens*

Reala: Look, a portal. There you go.

NiGHTS: Aah, what the f***! Who's that?

Reala: Do you not understand the concept of portals?

NiGHTS: What the f***?

Reala: This is like the whole game! This is the whole thing right here!

NiGHTS: This is like looking at one of those infinite mirror elevators.

Reala: Yes it is, but you can walk through it!

NiGHTS: But I don't like that! When I'm in those elevators I start freaking out! This is not good.

Reala: You really start freaking out in those elevators?

NiGHTS: ...Yeah.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Where is this coming from? Which portal is that? Are there three portals or four?

Reala: There's two.

NiGHTS: What? Look, there's one... two... three.

Reala: You're looking at a portal through another portal, just from a different direction.

NiGHTS: What? Hold on. Hold on a sec *tries to look through the portal*

Reala: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

NiGHTS: I don't get it.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: What does this thing do?

Reala: That's a material Emancipation Grid.

NiGHTS: Wait, what? I don't listen to rap dude.

{~~~}

Announcer: Relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.

NiGHTS: Okay.

Announcer: You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.

NiGHTS: My ear tubes?!

Reala: You don't need those, man.

NiGHTS: They're my favorite tubes.

Reala: No they're not!

{~~~}

Reala: This is not hard!

NiGHTS: No one told me anything...

Reala: No one tells you anything! To my knowledge, I'm the only person who talks to you! Ever since those visitors stopped coming, you're like the Ralph Wiggum of real life. I turn around for two seconds and catch you eating glue and crayons.

NiGHTS: *Eating an unwrapped crayon with a guilty look on her face* This is getting a little too personal.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: When do I get my shotgun? This is getting a little ridiculous, it's been like... 5 minutes.

Reala: You'll get your shotgun when Episode 3 comes out.

NiGHTS: That was my least favorite Star Wars, I'll tell you that much.

Reala: What the f*** are you... Oh, f*** you.

{~~~}

Wheatley: Hey! You made it!

NiGHTS: Hey, it's Nigel!

Reala: His name isn't Nigel. They're not all named Nigel, that's horrible.

{~~~}

*NiGHTS falls into a trapdoor*

NiGHTS: S***! Oh, no no no!

Reala: See? See? Progression.

Wheately: Do you see the portal gun?

NiGHTS: No.

Wheatley: Also, are you alive?

NiGHTS: Yes!

Reala: Why are you physically answering to a character in a game?

NiGHTS: Because...

Reala: The- the TV can't hear you!

NiGHTS: Look, there's no shotgun so far, so I have to find some way to make it entertaining!

Reala: THE TV CAN'T HEAR YOU!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Alright.

*NiGHTS tries to jump across, but misses*

NiGHTS: WHAT?!

Reala: Really? Really?

NiGHTS: That's where it leads to, so...

Reala: You just, you literally just picked up the portal gun, and instead of trying to shoot it, you're thinking 'I'm gonna jump over there!'

NiGHTS: The path is right here!

Reala: Shoot the gun!

{~~~}

Announcer: Smooth jazz will be deployed.

NiGHTS: Smooth jazz?

Reala: You ready for some smooth jazz?

*Jazz starts playing*

NiGHTS: Aww s***!

Reala: IT'S SO SMOOTH I CAN'T TAKE IT!

NiGHTS: I'm slipping all over the place!

Reala: I'M JUST SLIDING OUT OF THIS CHAIR!

*Music shorts out.*

Reala: Well, that's depressing.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Hey, there's an Octopaw.

Reala: Yes there- Octopaw? Now you just have to get THAT cube. Can YOU figure out a way?

{~~~}

Reala: Holy s***, good job. I think I have some dog treats around here I can give you.

NiGHTS: Well good-HEY!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: TO INFINITY! *jumps through portal and lands* Yay! I did it! *steps on switch and opens door*

Reala: you weren't into infinity though... Now quick, run through that door real fast.

*door closes*

Reala: AAAAWWW.

NiGHTS: Hold on, hold on. *steps on switch again* I didn't really nail my landing.

Reala: Really?

*door closes again*

NiGHTS: Oh, that's some bulls***.

{~~~}

Reala: I swear to Wizeman, every time that you ask me 'where?' and I point at it and you go 'where? and move the camera away, it makes me want to choke you like a puppy.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Hey, look it's Nigel again!

Reala: HIS NAME IS NOT NIGEL! Will you just f***ing throw the portal behind f***ing Nigel- *Exasperated sigh* NOW YOU GOT ME SAYING THAT S*** AND- F*** YOU! YOU ARE LIKE BRAIN CANCER! MIND CANCER! YOU'RE NOT A BRAIN TUMOR... YOU'RE HURTING MY IDEAS!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Okay, so where are we here?

Reala: You have to find an escape route. But don't worry. It's f***ing harmless.

NiGHTS: He's saying that bad things are going to happen.

Reala: Yeah, but he's a little b****. Don't worry about him.

NiGHTS: So nothing bad's gonna happen?

Reala: Nothing bad is gonna happen.

{~~~}

GLaDOS: Oh, it's YOU. *Throws Wheately into an incinerator*

NiGHTS and Reala: OH!

Reala: S***!

NiGHTS: F***! You said nothing bad would happen!

Reala: TO YOU!

NiGHTS: NIGEL!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Hey, I'm a robot.

Reala: I am also a robot.

NiGHTS: I'm a better robot than you.

Reala: You don't even know which robot you are yet.

NiGHTS: I'm probably the one that's the best one.

Reala: Which one's the best one? What's it look like

NiGHTS: It's the one with blue in it... That one! You're the orange one!

Reala: Cool. I get to be the tall robot.

NiGHTS: ...Aww f***.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: What's the most American animal here?

Reala: The chicken.

NiGHTS: No way! I'm like Three Wolf Moon here!

{~~~}

Reala: Hey, get back! I've got something cool to show you.

NiGHTS: Yeah, right. You fooled me before...

Reala: Look down, and shoot a portal at your feet.

NiGHTS: You know what? I'm gonna say no to this.

Reala: Just do it.

NiGHTS: Okay...

Reala: Just do it you wimp.

*Shoots portal*

Reala: Yeah. Traveling through space-time!

NiGHTS: Yeah, I stopped your little trap. *Falls back in* *****!

{~~~}

Reala: Step on that button. *Door closes on him* Why would you do that?

NiGHTS: Oh, sorry.

Reala: JUST F***ING STEP ON THE BUTTON! *Door closes on him again* WHY WOULD YOU F***ING DO THAT?!

{~~~}

Reala: I swear to Wizeman, If I f***in' walk over there, and that s*** closes on me, I'm going to go outside, find a homeless guy, pay him money, to come here, and take a dump in your sink.

NiGHTS: … *Gets off button*

Reala: WHAT THE F-

{~~~}

Reala: Here, take the stupid cube. I don't even want it.

NiGHTS: SLAM DUNK! *Glass breaks*

Reala: NO! You have to use it to solve the s***!

NiGHTS: YEAH!

Reala: STOP IT! F***ING... AMERICA! WHY WOULD YOU DO THA- AAAH!

*Cube knocks Reala backwards into water. NiGHTS laughs hysterically*

{~~~}

Reala: Are you even jumping? What are you doing?

*Camera zooms out to show NiGHTS in a two ground portal trap.*

Reala: Stop it. We need to solve these f***ing puzzles.

NiGHTS: I can't... stop! There are too many sciences!

{~~~}

*Now Reala is caught in a gravity trap*

NiGHTS: This is like an abstract painting of our stupidity.

Reala: Mostly yours, though. Mostly yours.

NiGHTS: I think it's around 50-50, because you're in the same f***ing problem I am!

Reala: I hate your face.

NiGHTS: We need to play something that won't stress us out because this is madness right now and nothing's being solved. So what- is there anything we can play?

{~~~}

*NiGHTS and Reala are now playing New Super Mario Bros*

Reala: Oh man! This is great! Why the hell didn't we play this before?!

NiGHTS: EVERYTHING IS FUN!

* * *

LTP: See Reala? A sketch can be funny without being humiliating.

Reala: Whatever.

NiGHTS: I actually thought the game was pretty fun, especially when tormenting Ree with the door!

Reala: *grumbles*

LTP: 'Kay everyone, see ya next time!

Click the review button and NiGHTS might visit you in your dreams tonight.


	7. Nightmaren with Hats 2

LTP: Has anyone seen Jackle? We need him for the next sketch.

*Reala flies in with a bound and gagged Jackle*

Reala: Found him.

LTP: Where was he?

Reala: He was trying to rob a bank... with a rubber chicken.

LTP: How'd ya find him?

Reala: I followed the trail of destruction in the city.

LTP: Ah, I see. Well take Jackle to the set, I'm going to do the disclaimer.

Reala: Fine. *flies off with Jackle in tow*

LTP: I don't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Llamas with Hats. ROLLING!

* * *

Nightmaren with Hats 2

(NiGHTS and Jackle are in a life boat on the ocean while a burning cruise ship is sinking in the background)

NiGHTS: Jackle! What in Nightopia was all that?

Jackle: I'm not sure what you're referring to.

NiGHTS: You sunk an entire cruise ship, Jackle!

Jackle: Are you sure that was me? I, I would think I'd remember something like that.

NiGHTS: Jackle, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face!

Jackle: That sounds dangerous.

NiGHTS: You were head butting children off the side of the ship!

Jackle: That, uh... that must've been horrifying to watch!

NiGHTS: Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!

Jackle: Well, thank God that the children weren't on board to see it.

NiGHTS: Uhh.. Jackle why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?

Jackle: Well I guess you could say it is red and sticky.

NiGHTS: Jaackle, what are we standing in?

Jackle: Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?

NiGHTS: No! I would not believe that!

Jackle: Uhh, melted gumdrops?

NiGHTS: No.

Jackle: Boat nectar?

NiGHTS: No.

Jackle: Some of God's tears?

NiGHTS: Tell me the truth Jackle.

Jackle: Fine. - It's the lovely elderly couple from 2B.

NiGHTS: JAAACKLE!

Jackle: Well they were, uh, they were taking all the croissant rolls.

NiGHTS: I can't believe what I'm hearing!

Jackle: I will not apologize for art.

NiGHTS: Where are the other lifeboats?

Jackle: Whoa! You won the prize, I didn't even notice that.

NiGHTS: Where are the other lifeboats, Jackle?

Jackle: Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean. I bit lots of holes in them.

NiGHTS: JACKLE!

Jackle: I have a problem. I have a serious problem.

NiGHTS: You are just, terrible today!

Jackle: Shhh! D'you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.

NiGHTS: That's the sound of people drowning Jackle.

Jackle: That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

* * *

LTP: Okay everyone, that's it for today! Ya'll got the rest of the day off! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a football game to get to. SEE YA!

Click-eth the review-eth button-eth.


	8. Reala the Nightmaren 3

NiGHTS: And we're back!

Jackle: Hey, Where's LTP?

NiGHTS: She got a really bad sunburn at the Dolphins game yesterday and couldn't come in.

Reala: Then why are we here?

NiGHTS: LTP put me in charge until her burn lets up.

Reala: WHAT!? IT WAS ONE THING WHEN I WAS DOING WHAT SHE SAID, BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!

NiGHTS: LTP thought you might say that, so she had Jackle spray your clothes with this when you weren't looking, *holds up a small bottle* and told me to unleash Cerberus if you didn't comply.

Reala: NiGHTS, what is in that bottle?

NiGHTS: I think she said it was female dog in heat urine...

Reala: ... F***!

Jackle: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Charlie the Unicorn. NOW LET"S START THE SHOW ALREADY!

Reala: WHY ME!?

* * *

Reala the Nightmaren 3

(Reala is walking alone in a random hallway of Nightmare Castle)

Echoy voice resembling NiGHTS/Jackle's: Realaaaaa.

Reala: Hello? Is someone there?

Echoey voice: Realaaaaaa.

Reala: What? What do you want?

(silence)

Reala: *grunts*

Jackle and NiGHTS: *materialize in a flash of light, wearing sunglasses and futuristic-looking gear* Reala!

Reala: Gah! Ah! Give me a heart attack, that's fine!

NiGHTS: We're from the future, Reala!

Reala: Oh, I bet.

Jackle: The world is in perillll.

NiGHTS: All that is good has been consumed by evil!

Jackle: *Jackle's eye begins to glow* The end is nigh! Nighhh!

(Jackle and NiGHTS disappear into a smoky grey cloud, where several copies of NiGHTS and Jackle in various sizes emerge then disappear back into the cloud)

Reala: Yep, so that was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

NiGHTS: Come with us to the future!

Jackle: We need your help to finish our snowman!

Reala: Snowman? What are you going on about?

NiGHTS: There's no time to explain!

Jackle: Grab onto our tongues!

Reala: How do I-

NiGHTS and Jackle: Blehhh!

(NiGHTS and Jackle's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape themselves on Reala)

Reala: Ohhhh that is so gross!

(the three disappear in a flash of white light, then reappear in a similar flash in Pure Valley)

(NiGHTS and Jackle's Future Costumes have disappeared)

NiGHTS: Reala, we're here!

Jackle: In the futureee! *blows party horn*

Reala: This is Pure Valley and everything looks the same!

NiGHTS: Shhhh, you'll wake the Umu.

Reala: *blinks* Umu?

Jackle: We need to get to the river

NiGHTS: And we gotta be sneaky.

(NiGHTS and Jackle start floating in the air, and bending their legs like they're made of rubber)

Jackle: We gotta be sneaky, Reala, sssneaky.

Reala: Yeah, there's no way I can do that with my legs.

Jackle: Oh no! Listen!

NiGHTS: The Umu has awoken! Run!

Reala: What are you- I don't hear anything!

NiGHTS: Hurry! Look out for the Yomyoms!

Jackle: They're everywherrrrrrre!

Reala: What am I missing here?

NiGHTS: Narshlogs! Coming in from above!

Jackle: Evasive maneuvers! *Starts to float away* Neh! Nyehhh!

NiGHTS: Reala! Look out for the Bleh-bleh-bleh!

Reala: *groans* Can I go home yet?

(Cuts to a river with a large duck-shaped boat which Jackle and NiGHTS are already on)

Jackle: Reala, get on the duck!

NiGHTS: The Bleh-bleh-bleh are right behind us!

Reala: I think I'll take my chances with the Oompoos and the Wawas.

Jackle: Oh no! A Narshlog has got Reala!

NiGHTS: Quickly! Grab onto our tongues!

NiGHTS and Jackle: Bleh!

(NiGHTS and Jackle's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape over Reala)

Reala: Oh! Aw, really? Again with the tongues?

(Cuts to Reala, Jackle and NiGHTS on the duck-boat, riding down the river.)

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: Hellooo?

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: H-he-hellooo?

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: Helloooooo?

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: H-hello?

NiGHTS: ...Ring, ring.

Reala: You have a bad connection!

NiGHTS: Time to go down below!

Jackle: Into the liquid abyss!

(The duck-boat begins to sink into the river)

Reala: Oh my Wizeman, hey, hey! I can't swim! Or breathe underwater!

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: Hello?

Reala: I'm serious, I'm going to drown!

(NiGHTS and Jackle are talking over Reala)

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: Hellooo?

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: Hellooo?

Reala: What does this have to do with snowmen!?

NiGHTS: Ring, ring.

Jackle: Helloooblubblubblub

(duckboat sinks into the river with Reala, Jackle and NiGHTS on it)

(the duckboat is floating to the floor of what looks to be ruins of a castle somewhere in the Aqua Garden)

NiGHTS: See, Reala? Look!

Jackle: This is where we've hidden the snowman!

Reala: Yeah, to save the world, right? I'm not even gonna ask how I'm still alive. 'Cause you know what I think? I think I died long ago and you two are my eternal punishment.

NiGHTS: You're like a constant downer, huh?

(Reala, Jackle, and NiGHTS are walking through the ruins)

Jackle: To get to the snowman we need to first pass-*camera zooms out to reveal a door standing alone in front of the trio* the Dooooor!

NiGHTS: The Dooooor!

Reala: The Door?

Jackle: Th-the Door!

Reala: What is the Door?

NiGHTS: The Door is everything!

Jackle: All that once was and all that will be!

(The door begins to float and multicolored light begin to flash)

NiGHTS: The Door controls Time and Space!

Jackle: Life and Death!

NiGHTS: The Door can see into your mind!

Jackle: *pupils contracts* The Door can see into your SOUL!

Reala: Really, th-the Door can do all that?

Jackle: Heh, no.

(Reala, NiGHTS and Jackle are walking through the ruins again.)

NiGHTS: We're almost there, Reala. It's right at the end of this-Oh my God it's a whale!

Jackle: Nooooo! Whaaaale!

(Shadow of a whale passes over the trio)

(silence)

(Shadow moves on)

NiGHTS: Just a few more steps and-Oh my God it's a Narwhal!

Jackle: Noooo! Narwhaaaaal! Narwhal of deathhhhh! It's gonna kill us!

(Shadow of a Narwhal passes over the trio)

(Silence)

(Shadow moves on)

NiGHTS: It's right up ahead now! You can see the-Oh my God it's a-

Reala: Stop it! Stop it! I don't care about each and every sea creature you see!

Jackle: But, Reala! They care about you!

(Music begins as a beam of light covers Reala and he begins to float upwards)

Reala: Oh, no. No! No! Noo!

(Reala lands on the top of a pillar, and Gulpo floats on screen with a bunch of balloons then lets them go.)

Gulpo: *singing* ~When, you're feeling all alone, the world's a drone, and nobody's shown any love to you,~

Reala: *speaking* I can't tell if you're adorable or creepy.

Gulpo: *singing* ~When, you're heart is cold as stone, just change your tone, get rid of that groan, and the world will too!~

Reala: Probably gonna go with creepy.

Gulpo: ~Cause Swordfishes-~

Swordfish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Jellyfishes-~

Jellyfish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Starfishes-~

Starfish: I LOVE YOU!

Gulpo: ~You know it's true. Catfishes-~

Catfish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Cuttlefishes-~

Cuttlefish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Blowfishes-~

(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)

Starfish: STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!

Gulpo: ~In the ocean blue!~

(Seapo wearing a golden chain around its neck and sunglasses appears with a bright orange background and begins to rap):

~Lungfish, Blackfish, Alligator, Icefish. Armourhead, Hammerhead, Anaconda, Flathead, Manta Ray, Sting Ray, Fangtooth Moray, Goblin shark, Grass Carp, Round River Bat Ray., Noodlefish, Hagfish, Man O' War, Ladyfish, Black Eel, Baby seal, Sprat, Koi, Electric Eel, Lamprey, Pejerey, Yellow-edged Moray, Salmon Shark, Sleeper Shark, Featherback and Eagle Ray!~

(Reala and Gulpo)

Gulpo: ~Well, you can ignore this plea. That's fine with me, But one day you'll see, That my words are true!~

Reala: Please stop singing to me.

Gulpo: ~What if, You find that you agree? I garauntee, That you will soon be Feeling the love too!~

Reala: I can't wait.

Gulpo: ~Cause Swordfishes-~

Swordfish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Jellyfishes-~

Jellyfish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Starfishes-~

Starfish: I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER!

Gulpo: ~You know it's true! Catfishes-~

Catfish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Cuttlefishes-~

Cuttlefish: Love you.

Gulpo: ~Blowfishes-~

(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)

Starfish: STARFISH! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!

Gulpo: ~In the ocean BLUEEE!~

(Gulpo floats off a bit and explodes)

(music ends)

Reala: *floats back down to the ground* Oh, there goes everyone exploding.

(camera zooms out to reveal a snowman standing on a pillar)

Reala: Oh, hey, look at that. Hey guys! I found the snowman! What did you want me to do? Guys?

(green tendrils of smoke start rising from the ground.)

Reala: What the-Oh, sleeping gas! Of course. Why did I expect any different?

(Reala collapses, the camera fades to black)

(later, somewhere in Frozen Bell, Reala is laying on the ground. it's snowing and his persona is gone.)

Reala: *wakes up* Uh, oh, oh! Where am I? Hey! What happened to my persona?!

(camera zooms out to reveal the snowman wearing Reala's persona)

Reala: Oh! Come on, really! What did that accomplish?! Why would-

(camera zooms out to reveal a red glob in the snowman's side)

Reala: Oh, look it's my kidney.

* * *

Reala: *exasperated sigh* Glad that's over.

NiGHTS: I just got a call from LTP, she said she'll be in tomorrow.

Jackle: YAAAAY!

Reala: *sarcastically* Yippee.

NiGHTS: *faces camera* Okay everyone, see you all next time!

Review Please!


	9. Jackle the Mantle

*LTP walks in and her arms, chest and face are bright red*

LTP: Hey everyone.

Reala: *snickering* Wow, Nights wasn't kidding about the sunburn!

Jackle: Why didn't you use sunblock?

LTP: I did, apparently the stuff I used wasn't strong enough.

NiGHTS: Are you sure you're alright to work today?

LTP: I'll be fine *takes out a bottle of aloe gel* I brought aloe. Now say the disclaimer Reala!

Reala: *sigh* Lady Twilight Prime does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Bino the Elephant.

LTP: NOW LET'S START THE FREAKING SHOW! *winces as her burn stings*

* * *

Jackle the Mantle

*opens in Nightmare castle, in Reala's room*

Reala: NiGHTS, where are my keys? I'm late; Jackle's probably deep within the pits of hell already.

NiGHTS: What, you mean the living pile of laundry?

Reala: Yes, NiGHTS, I've sent Jackle to hell. Science stuff, you wouldn't understand.

NiGHTS: I _don't_ understand, what do you mean "hell"?

Reala: My life with you, NiGHTS, that's the real hell.

NiGHTS: Whaaat?

Reala: I'm just gonna take the bus, do you have any change?

NiGHTS: There's some on the coffee table.

Reala: Thank you, NiGHTS... for your minimum contribution to my day.

*Reala arrives in some random laboratory in Nightmare*

Reala: Hello? Does anyone even still work here?

*Clawz comes down from the cieling*

Clawz: Hello Reala.

Reala: Oh good, Clawz... my least favorite of Wizeman's creations.

Clawz: And that's why you have friends.

Reala: Has Jackle checked in yet?

Clawz: Are you interested in what _I've_ been doing today?

Reala: Not in the least.

Clawz: Pooping! I've been pooping! A lot!

Reala: That's... nice?

Clawz: I'm hoping it helps me locate my other end. I've never seen it, you know. My butt. I've never seen my butt. I want to lick it.

Reala: I'm gonna go check on Jackle.

Clawz: I've been eating a lot of hummus. It has not sat well with me. Let me know if you smell anything.

*Meanwhile in hell*

Reala: *over a headset*Jackle! Status report!

Jackle: I've reached some sort of hatch - it's red, has a giant sad face on it?

Reala: Excellent! I think you've found the chamber of misery.

Jackle: Oh good, how do I get in?

Reala: You must be extraordinarily miserable. Are there any demons or hell monsters around that you could get to sexually molest you?

Jackle: Thankfully not. Only thing here is this weird flower staring at me.

Flower: Hello!

Reala: A flower, hmm. Ask it to sexually molest you.

Jackle: Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Hey there little guy.

Flower: Pee on me!

Jackle: Uh...

Reala: What was that?

Jackle: Nothing. *to the flower* What the hell is wrong with you?

Flower: Pee on me!

Jackle: No!

Reala: Jackle, this might be our in on getting you molested! Do it!

Jackle: Not gonna happen, Ree.

Flower: It's so warm and dry down here, and I'm sooo thirsty. Pee all over me!

Reala: I like where this is headed, Jackle!

Jackle: And I, I do not.

Flower: Aim for my mouth, I wanna gargle.

Reala: Do it, Jackle. We need to get into that chamber.

Jackle: Ugh, fine, I'll, I'll do it.

Reala: Perfect! This is how history is made my friend! This could be your defining moment; the one thing you will always be remembered for. So, uh, how's it coming along, Jackle?

Jackle: AAAAAGH!

Reala: What is it? Is he molesting you?

Jackle: HE'S CRAWLING UP MY URETHRA!

Reala: What, the flower?

Jackle: THE FLOWER IS CRAWLING UP MY URETHRA!

Reala: Fascinating!

Jackle: AND SINGING! THE FLOWER IS SINGING AS IT CRAWLS UP MY URETHRA!

Reala: Wow, this is much better than I expected. We'll have that hatch open in no time, Jackle!

*later in the lab Jackle is back with a few cuts and a black eye*

Reala: So you're saying the only thing in the chamber was additional misery?

Jackle: Yeah, misery is one word for it, I watched my own eyes fall out, how is that even possible!?

Reala: I'm sorry, Jackle, I really thought that would work.

Jackle: What are you basing any of this on?

Reala: Science, Jackle! Speculative science!

Jackle: I'm going to murder you!

Clawz: Can I do butt science?

Flower: Hello!

Jackle: Oh good Wizeman.

Reala: You let a creature from hell come back with you?

Jackle: Get out of here, you weirdo!

Flower: Aww, why does everyone always think I'm a weirdo?

Clawz: You've hurt its feelings, Jackle.

Flower: I can't even take pictures of monkey penises without people thinking I'm a weirdo!

Jackle: Alright, I'm taking you back.

*Jackle warps back to hell as NiGHTS walks in*

NiGHTS: Reala? There you are!

Reala: What are you doing here, NiGHTS? I'm doing science so hard right now!

NiGHTS: I found your keys, they were in one of my hat boxes.

Reala: What were they doing there? And who the hell has hat boxes?

*Jackle warps back in where NiGHTS is standing and NiGHTS explodes*

Jackle: I'm back! Whoa, what's with all the blood?

Reala: You materialized where NiGHTS was standing.

Clawz: Then she exploded.

Jackle: Oh Wizeman, I- I just killed your wife?

Reala: *sigh* It's okay, Jackle... I have more.

* * *

NiGHTS: I still can't believe how bad your sunburn is...

LTP: Well, I should've seen it coming. I mean, I live in the sunshine state and my skin's almost as white as Reala's for crying out loud! *sigh* Oh well. Anyway, SEE YA'LL NEXT TIME!

REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!


	10. NiGHTS and Reala Play Persona 4

(LTP walks in and her sunburn is gone)

LTP: Guess who's back? Back again!

Reala: *sarcastically* Oh great, she's back to normal.

LTP: *flips the bird at Reala* Now let's get this show on the road! Jackle?

Jackle: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Two Best Friends, or Persona 4! 52 PICKUP! *throws cards in the air*

* * *

NiGHTS and Reala Play Persona 4

(opens once again in Reala's room where NiGHTS and Reala are sitting in front of a large TV)

Reala: YEAH, IT'S BATTLE FIELD!

NiGHTS: BATTLEFIELD THREE!

Reala: BATTLEFIELD THREE!

NiGHTS: MODERN WAR BATTLES FIVE!

Reala: I can't wait to play the multiplayer!

NiGHTS: Sergeant Kasuke needs to fight the... other students in the... YEAH!

{~~~}

Reala: This is Persona.

NiGHTS: I've never played any of these.

Reala: You've never played any of the Personas?

NiGHTS: No.

Reala: They've had like four now. And there's a s*** ton of spin offs and s***. Why didn't you play them?

NiGHTS: Because-

Reala: You got like, a snowman that calls you a 'ho!

NiGHTS: Because I haven't, I haven't completed my Japanese lessons yet.

Reala: Yeah, that's really funny, they localize that s***!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Hello my dear, my name is Kenpachi Ramasama.

Reala: Kenpachi Ramasama why didn't you do your math homework!?

NiGHTS: Oh I'm sorry, my toast wouldn't cook and then I had to become a Sailor Scout!

Reala: *snickering*

NiGHTS: RONIN WARRIORS!

{~~~}

Igor: The moon, in the upright position.

Reala: That's good, right? Is that good?

Igor: This card represents "hesitation" and "mystery"... very interesting indeed.

NiGHTS: This card carries a terrible curse! That's bad.

Reala: But It's half off! That's good!

NiGHTS: My liver is also cursed!

Reala: That's bad! But it comes with free drinks!

NiGHTS: That's good!

{~~~}

*game starts*

NiGHTS: Finally!

Reala: Awesome! Who love starting Japanese games and seeing half naked-

NiGHTS: YEAH, BATTLE- BATTLEFIELD WARFARE!

{~~~}

Train announcer: We will arrive at the Yasokami Terminal in a few minutes.

Reala: So this is the whole game.

NiGHTS: *laughs* it figures!

Reala: This is the whole thing, it's just a train simulator *NiGHTS laughs* dressed up with magic and robots.

{~~~}

Ryotaro: Hey! Over here!

NiGHTS: A mysterious man asks for your attention.

Reala: Right after you get off the train, first thing 'Yo kid you're hot! You wanna come over to my place? I got this little girl, she can hold the camera!'

NiGHTS: SSURE, WHY NOT?

{~~~}

Ryotaro: I'm your mother's younger brother and that about sums it up.

NiGHTS: Pfffffttt THAT'S ME!

Reala: He's not your uncle, he's your mother's younger brother.

NiGHTS: So I'm your younger uncle.

Reala: Yeah...

NiGHTS: *notices ellipses' as response* DOT DOT DOT! That's anything-

Reala: Ellipses' b****es!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Ryotaro: *to Nanako* What're you so shy for?

NiGHTS: It' just your attractive cousin.

*Nanako smacks her dad*

Reala: Man, whenever my sister was mad at my dad she slapped him right in his ass****!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Here's our gas station! Soak it in!

Reala: We got gas, we got toothbrushes, WE GOT PEOPLE PUMPING GAS FOR YOU!

*Nanako needs to use the bathroom*

Reala: Do you need me to hold your skirt, little girl, while you go to the bathroom?

NiGHTS: Maybe your cousin can help you.

Nanako: I know... geez...

NiGHTS: *whiney voice* Geez mother f***er!

Attendant: Are you taking a trip?

NiGHTS: NO. It's none of your business.

Reala: Get the f*** out of my face and wash my car.

{~~~}

Message Board: You find yourself alone with Nanako...

NiGHTS: *laughing loudly*

Reala: YEAH! Time at last!

NiGHTS: *nerdy voice* Hey, do you collect Yu-gi-oh cards?!

Reala: This game's taken a dark turn.

NiGHTS: Nanako seems uncomfortable... pick up line was not effective!

Message Board: It looks like you forced her to speak.

NiGHTS: *laughing loudly*

Reala: WHAT?! What- I didn't do that!

{~~~}

*NiGHTS is blocking Nanako's view of the TV*

NiGHTS: Hey, try to watch your TV now! Try watching it now, yeah! Check it out!

Reala: Are you just shaking your ass in front of that little girl trying to watch TV?

NiGHTS: Look at my swagger! Look at my swagger! Yo! You think you can handle this!?

Reala: Stop that.

NiGHTS: Kenpachi Ramasama up in the club!

Reala: I LOVE YOU KENPACHI RAMASAMA!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: I really wanna watch next week's episode of common writer climax star force wonder brigade, but I should go to bed.

Reala: Dude, I heard that one has a guy that's like, a giant bee.

{~~~}

*in a dream sequence*

NiGHTS: I will probably have to say ellipses' to this strange dream.

Message board: ...!?

NiGHTS and Reala: YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

{~~~}

Nanako: You're starting school today, right?

NiGHTS: No, I'm not. Stop mentioning it to me, shut up!

Reala: I was planning on sitting around on my futon all day and getting super high. Don't tell your dad though, don't be a narc.

NiGHTS: WHY YOU BEING SUCH A NARC NANAKO!? You're like Nanako the narc face!

{~~~}

*Nanako walks to her school*

NiGHTS: All right, just go, just die already. Bye, hope you get hit by a truck!

{~~~}

*Yosuke passes by riding a bike while holding an umbrella before crashing*

Reala: What the f***?

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Reala: OH YOSUKE!

NiGHTS: YOSUKE!

*Yosuke is now holding his crotch*

Reala: That umbrella did not protect his d*** from the raindrops.

NiGHTS: I SHOULDV'E WORN MY D*** UMBRELLA!

Reala: LOOK AT THIS F***IN' SPAZ!

NiGHTS: SEE YA LATER, F***ER!

Reala: I AIN'T GONNA ASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH YOU ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

NiGHTS: Do you say ellipses' like I do? No one can say ellipses' like I do!

Reala: I'm the main character, I'm the only one who gets to say ellipses'.

NiGHTS: Ah, the Sakura blossoms are in season this time of year.

{~~~}

Chie: *notices Yosuke* Huh? You look dead today.

Reala: Probably 'cause he hit his jank and was mad stank! WHAT!

{~~~}

*Mr. Morooka walks in*

NiGHTS: *talking as Mr. Morooka* Alright c** dumpsters, shut yer damn stupid mouths!

Reala: *also talking as Morooka* I DON'T WANNA WALK INTO THIS CLASSROOM AND GET HIT WITH A SHOWER OF FETUSES FROM YOUR UNWANTED PREGNANCIES!

NiGHTS: *still talking as Morooka* Here's my s*** list. Starting from the top, Mokoto Kusanagi, Simon the Driller!

{~~~}

Message Board: Your life at his new school has begun.

Reala: Yeah!

NiGHTS: Oh... can't wait...

Reala: NEW LIFE AT THIS NEW SCHOOL!

{~~~}

School intercom: There has been an incident inside the school district. Police officers have been dispatched around the school zone.

Reala: HOLY S***! QUICK, EAT THE DRUGS!

{~~~}

Reala: Okay, do we be mean or nice to this girl?

NiGHTS: Girls like it when you're mean!

Reala: That's right!

Chie: Dude, I was sitting right next to you... I even talked to you

Reala: SORRY!

NiGHTS: I don't even know you exist, therefore you want me.

Reala: Kenpachi Ramasama, how can you be so flippant and so desirable?

{~~~}

Yosuke: *holding up a dvd case* I'm really sorry, it was an accident!

*Chie opens case to find her dvd is cracked*

Chie: WHAT THE ah- I can't believe this, it is completely cracked!

Yosuke: See ya! Thanks! *tries to leave but Chie trips him* I think mine's cracked too...

NiGHTS: I hope your nuts are dead.

Reala: Oh man, and once again, LET'S JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE!

NiGHTS: SEE YA LATER, F***ER!

{~~~}

*at the school gates*

Mitsuo: You're Yuki, right? You wanna go hang out somewhere?

Yukiko: I'm- I'm not going.

Mitsuo: FINE! *runs off*

Reala: What a mature way to react to a girl turning you down. 'FINE, WHATEVER! I'LL JUST LEAVE AND BECOME A BOSS CHARACTER IN FIVE MONTHS! SEE YA F***ERS!'.

NiGHTS: We're saying 'see ya f***ers' a lot.

Reala: It's a really versatile phrase.

NiGHTS: It kinda is.

Yukiko: Wh-what did he want from me?

Reala: HE WANTED YOUR SWEET GAM-GAMS!

{~~~}

Chie: Wait... What did she just say? A dead body?!

NiGHTS: Wait, what?

Reala: DEAD BODY?!

NiGHTS: HUH?

{~~~}

*back at home*

NiGHTS: Another dinner alone with Nanako...

Reala: Time to say nothing!

{~~~}

Yosuke: There's something over there!

NiGHTS: Oh, what is it?

Reala: Don't worry man, *someone in a cartoony bear costume comes out of the fog* It's a friendly bear!

NiGHTS: Are you serious? How is that a bear?

Reala: It's your friend!

NiGHTS: It looks like a... bonkey.

Reala: A BONKEY!?

NiGHTS: It's a bear and a monkey...

Reala: That's the worst!

NiGHTS: Oh God, Mysterious bear- You know what, just turn this off.

Reala: No, I don't want to!

NiGHTS: This is getting really silly.

Reala: NO, IT'S REALLY GOOD!

NiGHTS: WHAT EVIDENCE IS THERE THAT THIS IS GETTING ANY BETTER!?

RealaL LOOK, IT'S SO INTERESTING!

{~~~}

*on the save menu*

NiGHTS: Uh, so where do I save to? Which slot?

Reala: Anywhere with no data.

*NiGHTS scrolls up and sees Reala's save file*

NiGHTS: Uh, why do you have- what?

Reala: It's a hundred thirty-one hours.

NiGHTS: Why do you have- what?

Reala: 'Cause I played a hundred thirty-one hours of Persona 4 'cause this game's awesome.

NiGHTS: Oh.

Reala: This is the f***in' s***! I have everything maxed out and everyone on top level-

*NiGHTS saves over Reala's file*

Reala: WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!? WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!?

* * *

LTP: OKAY THAT'S WRAP EVERYONE!

NiGHTS: Has anyone seen Jackle?

LTP: I sent him on a coffee run.

Reala: O.O You did what now!? *grabs LTP and shakes her* DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HAPPENS WHEN JACKLE HAS CAFFEINE!?

LTP: ... Let's go find him before he does any major damage.

*distant explosion*

NiGHTS: Too late...

LTP: Okay everybody, we got to go wrangle up a caffeine crazed Jackle, see ya next time!

Review please!


	11. 8 Drunk Nightmaren Play SCP-087

LTP: Well, time for another episode of drunken comedy!

Disclaimer: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, SCP -087 or any of the 11 drunk guys. LTP also does not approve of drinking irresponsibly.

* * *

8 Drunk Nightmaren Play SCP-087

(once again we open in Reala's room where NiGHTS, Reala, Jackle, Bomamba, Puffy, Queen Bella, Donbalon and Chamelon are gathered around Reala's laptop. NiGHTS is playing SCP-087 with Reala and Jackle sitting next to her. Donbalon is chugging a bottle of Jack Daniels with Chamelon while Bomamba, Queen Bella, and Puffy are having a discussion about politics. And everyone is drunk out of their minds, again.)

Chamelon: Okay, let's play count the stairs.

Jackle: Look there's a number on the stairs there. Behind you.

NiGHTS: So you know which floor?

Jackle: Yeah, it'll indicate which floor- nonono, behind you on the wall opposite.

Bomamba: OH GOD!

Reala: THERE!

Donbalon: We're already s***ty at this...

Puffy: There's a one.

Queen Bella: No ZERO! That's a zero!

NiGHTS: Oh there it is!

Chamelon: It's the zero-eth floor!

Reala: Shut up...

Jackle: Okay, DON'T get too excited and go down too fast! There are, there are THINGS IN THE DEPTHS!

NiGHTS: Okay, what are the controls? What if I click, what happens? *clicks*

Reala: Nothing.

*NiGHTS goes down the steps quickly*

Jackle: AAH! DON'T!

Puffy: Is there a sprint button?

NiGHTS: Why is going fast bad? I'm so confused...

Jackle: 'Kay fine, just go fast! Have fun! Have f***in' fun with your fast ascension!

Queen Bella: Stop being fascist!

Reala: Everyone shut up!

NiGHTS: What happens like, what kind of monsters are there in this thing?

Bomamba: We don't f***in' know anything!

Donbalon: BATS 'N S***!

Chamelon: Bats and vampires.

Jackle: Stair monsters!

Reala: F*** stair monsters, man.

Puffy: Edward Cullen is gonna cut.

Donbalon: NONONONONONONO!

Jackle: F*** J****!

Queen Bella: F*** J****?

Reala: HEY! NO F***ING J****!

Donbalon: That's offensive man!

NiGHTS: We're only on four guys! We've been down like fifty times!

Chamelon: Four down, ninety-six to go!

*NiGHTS jumps*

NiGHTS: I CAN JUMP!

Reala: YOU CAN JUMP?! YOU CAN JUMP?! That makes everything, all of a sudden you're frolicking!

Jackle: Stop!

Donbalon: Jump the gap!

*NiGHTS tries to jump the gap but fails*

Reala: Okay, the ability to jump makes it less scary because now you're f***ing frolicking!

NiGHTS: *jumping down the stairs* LALALALALA!

Jackle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! NO, GEEZ LOOK AHEAD OF YOU!

NiGHTS: *fist pump* I CAN FROLIC MOTHER F***ER!

Chamelon: Turn around, turn around and walk backwards down the stairs!

Jackle: NO!

Puffy: That sounds sketchy. That sounds sketchy.

NiGHTS: Wahaha! *walks down the stair backwards*

Reala: NO YOU F***ING F***OT!

Everyone but NiGHTS: *various screaming and cursing*

Reala: *gets in NiGHTS face*I AM GONNA FIST YOU!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Jackle: 'Kay, we'll take bets on what floor we die at!

Puffy: What floor do you think it'll be at? 10?

Reala: 20!

Donbalon: 7!

Jackle: And if you win you get to take like, seven shots.

NiGHTS: I'm gonna guess 15! 15 is my guess!

Queen Bella: Hahaha!

Reala: We're at 11.

Chamelon: What's behind you?

NiGHTS: Frolicking!

Jackle: WHAT'S BEHIND YOU?! GO BACK UP!

NiGHTS: That was 15.

Bomamba: I said 27-

*random boom is heard*

NiGHTS: *jumps* WHAA! F*** my ass!

Reala: 'KAY! *grabs onto NiGHTS*

Jackle: You should slow doowwwnn!

Everyone: *drunken babbling*

Jackle: AAAHH! NOOO! AAAH! NOOO! I thought I saw a thing!

Donbalon: Oh s*** there's darkness!

NiGHTS: HAHA THERE'S STAIRS!

Puffy: Wait, what!?

Queen Bella: *sarcastically* Are you sure? I don't think so.

Reala: Well we're freaking the f*** out over nothing!

Jackle: OH S***! OH S***! OH S***! OH S***!

Chamelon: Seven's coming up.

Jackle: NONONONO! HE'S GONNA BE THERE! OMG!

*shadows move*

Everyone: WOOAAAH! *more screaming and cursing*

Jackle: THERE WAS MOVING SHADOWS!

Reala: THAT WAS WEIRD AS S***!

NiGHTS: WHAT THE HELL!?

Puffy: What the hell was that?!

Donbalon: DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Jackle: AAAHH!

Bomamba: I bet it's behind you.

Chamelon: Don't slow down!

Jackle: OOHH!

Reala: DON'T SLOW DOWN! F*** YOU!

Queen Bella: Don't look behind you!

Donbalon: Walk backwards down the stairs!

NiGHTS: I am gonna f*** this bag of juiced nipples up!

Jackle: NONONONONONONO!

Puffy: The staircases are getting shorter!

Chamelon: They are?

Reala: They're totally getting shorter!

Jackle: They're getting shorter!

Everyone: Count the stairs!

*counts the stairs*

Everyone but Donbalon: 1234567891011!

Donbalon: N***** S*** B**** F*** MY ASS!

Jackle: *jumps onto Reala's head* Oh God, oh God, oh God!

Reala: Get your feet off my face!

Jackle: AAAhhh!

NiGHTS: 41!

Jackle: NO! 'KAY, YOU'RE STILL GOING AT THE SAME SPEED!

Reala: This is the worst game in the world!

Puffy: *screams like a whale*

Jackle: PLEASE SLOW DOWN! OOHH! F***!

NiGHTS: Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall-

*shadows move*

Everyone: *screaming, cursing, general freaking out*

Reala: F***ING ASS D***S!

Jackle: F***! F***IN' D*** F***IN' OMELLETTE!

NiGHTS: Guysguysguys! Hold on, hang on!

Donbalon: *starts singing* ~Eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight~

*everyone else joins in*

Everyone: ~RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVALS! AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT, AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYYYYYEEEEEE, OF THE TIGER!~

Chamelon: DERP! DERP DERP DERP!

Jackle: S*** S*** S***! AAAHH!

NiGHTS: *screams randomly, possibly to mock Jackle*

Jackle: LOOK DOWN! Nononono down the stairs I mean! You need to look ahead of yourself.

*shadows move, again*

Everyone: WAAAAAHHH!

Jackle: AAAAHH! S***TY F***IN'!

Bomamba: Look above you, look above you!

Jackle: AAAAAAHHHHH!

Queen Bella: *random scream*

NiGHTS: We're almost at 69 guys!

Chamelon: *drunken singing*

NiGHTS: Guys, wait, wait, wait! Best floor ever! 69!

Everyone: *cheers of victory*

Jackle: I was son of a-

*shadows move*

Everyone: *freaks out*

Jackle: AAAAHH!

Reala: OH F***ING B****ES!

Jackle: Okay, no more f***ing Peter Gabriel!

*NiGHTS jumps down steps

Everyone: *screams in fake terror*

*shadows move*

Everyone: *screams in REAL terror*

Reala: OH F***ING ASS!

Puffy: How can we alleviate the stress and horror of this?

*shadows move again*

Everyone: *screams again*

Donbalon: S***!

Reala: STOP F***ING FLIPPING OUT! YOU'RE MESSING UP!

Chamelon: AAAAHHH!

Bomamba: Wait, wait, wait, I got a theory

Reala: Everybody shush!

NiGHTS: Can we cuddle?

* 2 seconds of silence*

Jackle: YES!

Reala: YES!

Jackle: *shoves his butt in NiGHTS' face* F***ING CUDDLE MY ASS!

*Jackle freaks out several times throughout the game*

*shadows move*

Everyone: *freaks out along with Jackle*

Puffy: OMG!

NiGHTS: I'd rather put six urethras in a blender than do this again.

Donbalon: *belches*

Jackle: *grabs Bomamba's legs* YOUR LEGS ARE HAIRY BUT THEY PROVIDE ME WITH COMFORT!

NiGHTS: 94! Guys 94!

Reala: 90 mother f***ing 4!

NiGHTS: 98!

Jackle: 98!

Queen Bella: Whoo hoo!

Jackle: AAAHH!

Reala: Oh s***! Something's gonna happen!

*Shadows move again*

Everyone: WAAAAHH!

NiGHTS: God damn it!

*Jackle freaks out several more times*

NiGHTS: OK guys I'm gonna turn around! In one...

Jackle: NO!

Reala: Don't you f*** me! Don't you f*** me!

NiGHTS: Two... I lied.

Donbalon: HA HA, HA HA HA HA!

Puffy: Walk backwards.

Jackle: Pick a number, If nothing happens before that number-

*NiGHTS walks down the stairs backwards*

Everyone but NiGHTS: *tons 'o screaming and cursing*

Reala: B****!

NiGHTS: Alright, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it!

Jackle: NO! BAD IDEA! NONONONONONONONONO!

*NiGHTS jumps down the stairs backwards*

NiGHTS: Frolicking mother f***ing backwards!

Jackle: IT'S GETTING DARKEEER! *freaks out some more*

Reala: There better be some s*** that happens-

*shadows move*

Reala: WHOA! OH F***!

Jackle: WHAT THE F*** HAPPENED!?

Chamelon: What the f*** man?

Puffy: WHAT WAS THAT!?

NiGHTS: It was that God damned shadow, like every other one.

Jackle: AAAAAAHH! NO! NOOO!

Donbalon: OH S***!

Bomamba: Dude it's like a f***ing bear! It's the pedo-bear!

Queen Bella: It looks like Bambi!

Jackle: AAAAHH!

*Jackle freaks out even more every time NiGHTS goes down the steps too fast*

Jackle: 'KAY, F***IN LOOK FORWARD!

NiGHTS: You know what? F*** this! I'M WALKING UP THE STAIRS!

Everyone but NiGHTS: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*NiGHTS tries to walk up the stairs but the game won't let her*

Puffy: Turn around you dumbass!

Reala: I will fist you!

Chamelon: OH YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T!

NiGHTS: That is bulls***!

Jackle: AH AH! AAAHH! NOOO!

Donbalon: This game sucks d***! Like it sucks more d*** than I do, and that's saying alot!

Reala: *hits a cymbal*

Everyone but Reala: *minor freak out*

NiGHTS: You're an ass****, that's MY move!

Bomamba: GUYS GUYS! There's something about 144, it's the stairwell!

Puffy: Is there anything on the roof? Look at the roof!

Queen Bella: You can't look at the roof.

*a face appears in the darkness*

Jackle: AAAAHH!

NiGHTS: OH GOD!

Everyone: *SCREAMS LOUDLY*

NiGHTS and Reala: *hugging each other while screaming*

Jackle: *running around the room screaming*

Donbalon: *tries to dive under the table, but is too big to fit*

Chamelon: *passed out drunk*

Queen Bella, Puffy, and Bomamba: *trying to hide behind some random pillows*

Jackle: WAAAAAHHH!

Puffy: Oh my jeez!

Donbalon: It was Slenderman!

Reala: Why did he flick your nipple?

Jackle: *still running around* OOOOOOHHHH!

NiGHTS: THAT WAS THE GAYEST ENDING I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED!

* * *

LTP: DAMN JACKLE, you were freaking out like crazy! Eh, oh well. SEE YA'LL NEXT TIME!

~Review for sweet dreams tonight~


	12. Panda Hat

LTP: WE ARE BACK!

Reala: I am not looking forward to this one...

NiGHTS: Why is that Ree?

Reala: NiGHTS, have you even read the script?

NiGHTS: *reads through the script* oh... well good luck! *flies off*

LTP: NiGHTS, THE DISCLAIMER!

NiGHTS: Right sorry! LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Dick Figures.

LTP: ACTION!

* * *

Panda Hat

(opens at some random bar in Nightmare, Jackle chugs a bottle of beer on a bar stool. His eyes are pink, because he's drunk. Reala then walks up)

Reala: ~Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday from Reala!~ Aaand you're drunk.

*Jackle breathes in deeply, then leans forward quickly, breaking a few bottles beside him*

Jackle: REE-REE!

Reala: How's the, uh, birthday?

Jackle: You're not even... *mumbles*... with the panda hat.

Reala: Oh, yeah? Cool...

Jackle: Ah ah!

*Jackle gets off bar stool and hugs Reala*

Jackle: Heh-hey, Reala.

Reala: What?

Jackle: Reala!

Reala. What?

Jackle: RealaRealaRealaRealaRealaRealaReala...

Reala: What?

Jackle: Listen.

Reala: What?

Jackle: Listen. Reala listen.

Reala: What?!

Jackle: Listen.

Reala: WHAT?!

Jackle: *deep voice* LISTEN! I love you! I wanna...let's...*mumbles*...let's grow old together in every way! *deep voice, background blazes* EVERY WAY!

Reala: *tries to get away from Jackle* 'Kay...

*disco ball drops down next to Jackle and Jackle starts to dance*

Jackle: Dance party for Jackle!

*Jackle falls into the glass fragments from the bottles earlier. Jackle gets up with the fragments stuck on him. Disco ball disappears*

Jackle: Yeah! HEY, LAAADIIIIIIIES! *runs off*

Reala: Eh, f***!

*Jackle runs up to a female Nightmaren*

Jackle: Hey, baby, knock knock, who's there, sex, sex who, sex with me, BOOM!

*sunglasses suddenly pop out in front of Jackle's eyes and he strikes a pose*

Female Nightmaren: Aw, that's so romantic! Call me-

Jackle: Whatever! *walks away*

Reala: Oh, my Wizeman, dude, what happened?

Jackle: I know, right! What a piyaaaammp!

*quickly rewinds to when Jackle spoke to the Nightmaren*

Jackle: Hey, blehblehboobleblebloohehe! Ahahahahahahahah! ...Knock knock.

*the Nightmaren angrily breaks her beer bottle on the countertop. Jackle ends up having a broken bottle on his head*

Reala: Wow, dude, you're really drunk.

*Reala removes the broken bottle on Jackle's head. Blood is visible on the tips*

Reala: I gotta get you home.

Jackle: YEAH, RIGHT! I'm fine! I ain't never puked from throwin' up!

Reala: You mean drinking?

Jackle: *breathes in, low voice* Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! *walks off*

Reala: Jackle! *groans*

Female Nightmaren: *groans* Men are such pigs.

Clawz: I can go all night-a, baby. I'm-a nocturnal. *growls seductively*

*Jackle talks to his reflection in a mirror*

Jackle: You don't know meh!

*Jackle talks to himself while the bartender watches*

Jackle: Is this real life? Now?

*Jackle is lying on the floor*

Jackle: My eyes are puzzle pieces!

*Jackle seems to be talking to someone*

Jackle: Let's grow old together in every way! ...Except for the gay way!

*Camera zooms out, showing that Jackle is talking to a toilet. He dunks his head in the bowl and flushes*

Reala: It's time to go, dude. You're making out with that toilet pretty hard.

*Jackle pulls out his head from the toilet*

Jackle: Your mom's making out with that post! YEAH! H-hey...you leave her outta this! *makes like he's about to vomit* Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Reala: No! Nooooooooooo!

*time slows down, deepening everybody's voice*

Jackle: Urrruuuuugh!

Reala: Noooooooooooooo!

Jackle: IT'S MY TIME!

Reala: Are you kidding me?!

Jackle: YEEEE-

*time speed is back to normal. Jackle begins to vomits on Reala*

Reala: NOOOO- oooohhhhh... THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU PUKE?!

Jackle: I DON'T KNOW!

*Jackle continues to vomit on Reala. Eventually, Reala lies down*

Jackle: You don't know where I've been-

*Jackle vomits on Reala once more*

Reala: I hate you!

Jackle: *laughs*

Reala: I hate you sooo much!

* * *

LTP: OK, someone get Jackle sobered up!

NiGHTS: I'm on it. *takes Jackle to the break room*

LTP: And let's get you cleaned up Reala!

Reala: Fina-

*Reala gets cut off as LTP sprays him with a fire hose*

Reviews please!


	13. Nightmaren with Hats 3

LTP: WE HATH RETURNED!

NiGHTS: Where's Ree?

LTP: My guess? Probably in the shower.

NiGHTS: STILL?! It's been like, four days!

LTP: I know, I passed the door a few times and I swear I could hear him muttering something along the lines of 'Still not clean'. Thankfully he's not in this sketch, so not much to worry about there. Jackle, disclaimer.

Jackle: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Llamas with Hats.

LTP: ROLLING!

* * *

Nightmaren with Hats 3

(opens with Jackle and NiGHTS standing in front of a burning city)

NiGHTS: Jaaackle, we're supposed to be on vacation.

Jackle: I don't know about you but I'm having a wonderful time here.

NiGHTS: You toppled a south American government, Jackle.

Jackle: The people have spoken, viva la resistance.

NiGHTS: You pushed the resistance leader into a giant fan.

Jackle: He was a traitor and a scoundrel.

NiGHTS: He was trying to stop you from pushing other people into a giant fan.

*a foot kicks Jackle from inside his stomach*

Jackle: Whoa. That was a foot. I seemed to have swallowed and entire person.

NiGHTS: That would be the hotel bartender.

Jackle: Well that explains why my mojito is taking so long.

NiGHTS: It was horrifying. Your mouth unhinged like a snake.

Jackle: Wow, that sounds pretty awesome.

NiGHTS: I can't go anywhere with you, Jackle.

Jackle: That hurt my feelings, now we're both in the wrong.

NiGHTS: I wanna go home, we're leaving.

Jackle: In that case I should probably mention that I filled all our luggage with orphan meat.

NiGHTS: Wh-what?

Jackle: Well I'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat won't do.

NiGHTS: You know what? Forget it. I'm not even shocked any more.

Jackle: Oh, that's no fun.

NiGHTS: This has become the norm for you Jackle.

Jackle: I'll have to try harder next time.

NiGHTS: Please don't.

Jackle: I feel like I've been issued a challenge.

NiGHTS: Jaaackle.

Jackle: It's too late now, you.

NiGHTS: You?

Jackle: I've totally don't remember your name.

NiGHTS: What? We've known each other for years, Jackle.

Jackle: And what an impression you've made.

NiGHTS: My name is NiGHTS.

Jackle: What?

NiGHTS: I said my name is NiGHTS.

Jackle: Oh, I thought you were a gay man.

NiGHTS: Why would you think that?

Jackle: Mostly the clothes, are you sure?

NiGHTS: Of course I'm sure.

Jackle: Well if you excuse me, I have some pictures to delete from my computer.

* * *

LTP: Oh Jackle, you lovable psychopath.

NiGHTS: *banging on bathroom door* REALA, IT'S TIME TO GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!

Reala: MAKE ME!

NiGHTS: YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR FOUR DAYS!

Reala: I DON'T CARE!

LTP: Let me handle this NiGHTS.

*NiGHTS move away from the door*

LTP: Ahem, REALA IF YOU DON'T GET YOU ASS OUT OF THE SHOWER THIS INSTANT, I SWEAR TO EVERY GOD, GODESS, DIETY, AND OTHER DIVINE BEINGS OUT THERE THAT I WILL BUST DOWN THIS DOOR AND DRAG YOUR ASS ALL THROUGHOUT NIGHTMARE CASTLE, INCLUDING WIZEMAN'S THRONE ROOM, IN NOTHING BUT YOUR F***ING BIRTHDAY SUIT! Now, are you going to come out willingly or are things gonna have to get weird?

Reala: ... fine.

I can haz reviewz?


	14. NIR Movie

Jackle: So finally after seven hours, I managed to clean all the banana peels, egg shells and cotton candy out of Wizeman's throne room.

Reala: *not even paying attention* That's nice Jackle.

*NiGHTS flies in with a panicked look on her face*

NiGHTS: *grabs Reala's shoulders* REALA, JACKLE, RUN! LTP JUST BAKED CUPCAKES AND ATE ALL THE LEFTOVER FROSTING!

Reala: ... What?

NiGHTS: *shakes Reala* YOU HEARD ME! SHE ATE ALL THE FROSTING SHE HAD LEFT OVER AND NOW SHE'S ON A SUGAR HIGH! SHE'S EVEN MORE RANDOM AND CRAZY THAN JACKLE RIGHT NOW!

*LTP comes in with a demented grin and an eye twitch*

LTP: *eye twitches* Hey everyone!

NiGHTS: OH GOD, RUN! *flies off with Reala in tow*

LTP: Hey Jackle! Knock knock.

Jackle: Who's there?

LTP: Fish.

Jackle: Fish who?

LTP: FISH SLAPPED! *slaps Jackle in the face with Gulpo*

Jackle: WAIT FOR ME GUYS! *takes off after NiGHTS and Reala*

LTP: *turns demented smile to the camera* I don't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or ASDF Movie... enjoy the show! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

NIR Movie

(opens inside the Nightopia of a young Visitor)

Young Visitor: Hehehehehehe. Ooh.

NiGHTS: *grabs nose* Got your nose!

Young Visitor: Eeoo.

Reala: *kicks open the Nightopia door* Look out, she's got a nose! *fires gun*

{~~~}

Jackle: *grabs Puffy*. You gotta help me man, my cloak is evil and it's gonna kill meeeee!

*Puffy backs away slowly*

Jackle: *squeaky voice* Please don't hurt me.

*everything turns red as camera zooms in on Jackle's cloak*

Cloak: *laughs evilly*

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Hello, parking meter!

Parking Meter: Hello!

*NiGHTS moves back, startled*

{~~~}

Donbalon: Hey, hey guy, hey, smell my flower.

*Chamelon comes near and smells Donbalon's flower*

Chamelon: Mmmmmm.

*Gulpo pops out of Donbalon's stomach*

Gulpo: Guaguaga.*slurps*

Chamelon: LOL.

Gulpo: Lala. *goes back into Donbalon*

{~~~}

*Bomamba clicks a pointless button. The sign reads, POINTLESS BUTTON. Warning: Pointless*

Bomamba: Hm.

{~~~}

Reala: Hey man -

*Jackle punches him in the face*

Reala: *angry* Oh, what the hell is wrong with you?!

Random Voice: Level up!

{~~~}

Claris: Somebody help me, I'm being robbed!

NiGHTS: I'll save you! Tree powers activate! *becomes a tree*

{~~~}

Reala: Die Nightopian!

Nightopian: Noooo!

*Reala steps on Nightopian*

{~~~}

Donbalon: Mmmm! *grabs a knife* Yum.

*Donbalon sticks his knife in the cake*

Cake: *screams in agony* Ahhhhh! Why would you do this? I have a wife and family!

Donbalon: Nooo!

Cake: Ahh, the pain! It's unbearable!

Donbalon: What have I done?!

*cake screams in agony again and moves off the plate, toward the edge of the table*

Cake: Tell my children I love them!

Cupcakes: Daddy!

Cake: *moves off the table, plummeting onto the floor screaming*

Donbalon: Noo!

Cupcakes: No!

*cake splats to the ground*

{~~~}

Punk Visitor: *to Reala* Hey, you know who's gay? *camera zooms in on Visitor* YOU.

*camera zooms out to show Reala sticking a sword into him*

Punk Visitor: Oh, come on!

* * *

*later in a closet somewhere*

NiGHTS: *huddling close to Reala* Are you sure we'll be safe in here Reala?

Reala: There's an entire brick wall separating us from her, we should be safe until her sugar high wears off.

*camera pans to a brick wall where the door would be*

NiGHTS: Wait, how are WE going to get out of here when LTP calms down?

Reala: Simple, we use Jackle as a battering ram.

Jackle: HEY!

*LTP suddenly smashes her head through the brick wall and destroys it. When the smoke clears, she still has the demented smile and eye twitch and is still holding Gulpo*

LTP: HERE'S LTP!

NiGHTS, Reala and Jackle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

If this isn't the most random thing I've ever done, then REVIEW PLEASE!


	15. 8 Drunk Nightmaren Play Slendermod

*LTP comes in dressed like Jeff the killer*

LTP: HEY EVERYBODY AND WELCOME TO THE NIGHTS INTO RANDOMNESS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!

Jackle: *wearing the banana costume from chapter 5* WAAAAAAHHHH! IT'S JEFF THE KILLER! QUICK, HIDE THE HAMBONES! *runs around screaming*

Reala: *dressed as Laughing Jack* JACKLE, WILL YOU CALM THE F*** DOWN?! IT'S JUST LTP IN A WIG!

LTP: ACTUALLY THIS IS MY REAL HAIR, I SPRAY PAINTED IT BLACK FOR MY COSTUME!

Reala: WAIT, YOU ACTUALLY PAINTED YOUR HAIR?! o0

LTP: IT'S A TEMPORARY HAIR COLOR THAT WASHES OUT IN THE SHOWER! NIGHTS USED IT FOR HER COSTUME TOO!

NiGHTS: *dressed as Scarecrow* Why is everyone yelling?

LTP: WE DON'T KNOW! SOMEONE SAY THE DISCLAIMER!

NiGHTS: *sigh* LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, any of the 11 drunk guys, or any creepypasta characters.

LTP: LET'S GET WASTED!

Quick note: The following Nightmaren will be dressed as mentioned below.

NiGHTS - Scarecrow (the creepypasta character, not an actual scarecrow)

Reala - Laughing Jack

Jackle - A Banana

Donbalon - A Pumpkin

Puffy - Shadow Queen Peach (from Paper Mario 2)

Chamelon - Dracula

Queen Bella - A Black Widow

Bomamba - Nyan Cat

* * *

8 Drunk Nightmaren Play Slendermod - Halloween edition

(opens in NiGHTS' room where the Halloween party is taking place, there is booze and candy EVERYWHERE. Reala is sitting in front of a laptop with NiGHTS and Jackle at his side. Bomamba is running around the room while singing the Nyan Cat song as Chamelon tries to hang from the ceiling, but is too drunk to do it properly. Puffy and Queen Bella are rolling Donbalon around like the Katamari while Donbalon sings 'Jimmy Cracked Corn'. And once again, everyone is DRUNK! DUN DUN DUN! It should also be noted, that there is a huge recycle bin in the corner of the room, filled to brim with alcohol containers, and it was empty when the party started)

Jackle: Holy s***.

Chamelon: Wow.

NiGHTS: ~This is crazy!

Reala: And I just met- wait, s***. I f***ed up the lyrics.

NiGHTS: Oh no, I didn't even mean that!

Puffy: ~I just met you~

Jackle: Two chains!

Puffy: ~and this is crazy!~

*game starts*

Donbalon: Holy f***! This is scary!

NiGHTS: Wow, this is so much more terrifying than the original Slender!

Jackle: So, as you can tell, you've gone back in time and you're building the railroad!

Queen Bella: Are we Asian?!

Bomamba: Are we Chinese?!

Chamelon: Wait are you actually serious?

Reala: Guys, we're Black!

Puffy: Ok, fine.

NiGHTS: Wow, this is getting really scary already!

Donbalon: Holy s***!

Jackle: Holy f***, this is like legit today...

Chamelon: This is legitimately scary.

Reala: SHUT UP!

Bomamba: Yo there's a page up there!

NiGHTS: Paper! Paper!

Puffy: No, it's not a page.

Donbalon: It's gotta be a page.

Jackle: It's clearly just my c** on the wall.

Reala: You c** in squares?!

Jackle: ... I'm very accurate.

Chamelon: Can you jump?

Reala: Not as far as I can tell...

NiGHTS: Slender man c**s in squares...

Donbalon: My c** comes out in squares.

Jackle: Oh s***!

*Slender man appears in the distance*

Everyone: *minor freak out*

Reala: We haven't even gotten the-

NiGHTS: Wow, that is fast!

Chamelon: Just chillin', just chillin'!

Donbalon: *whimpers*

Jackle: He looks scarier and more, uh... scary!

Queen Bella: This is incredible, it's actually like the best Slender mod ever!

Chamelon: It's the only one!

Reala: *sees Slender man in the same spot as earlier* Whoa there he is!

NiGHTS: Gimme twenty dollars! Gimme twenty dollars!

Jackle: Get the f*** away from him!

Queen Bella: WHHOOO!

Bomamba: S***!

Reala: *notices a large tree*Hey, it's the tree from Avatar!

NiGHTS: There's water, he'll drown you!

Jackle: Wait, does that mean this is the tree that we can f***?

Chamelon: Yeah, that's bulls*** bro.

Reala: *spots the page* PAGE!

NiGHTS: RUN!

Jackle: RUN!

Donbalon: Slender man has some serious mental issues!

Jackle: Heed the warning!

Reala: *sarcastically* Are you sure we're supposed to run? I don't think so.

NiGHTS: HA!

Chamelon: Yeah let's just go to- *gets cut off by bats screeching*

Everyone: *minor freak out*

Bomamba: OOHH BATS MAN!

Puffy: BATS!

Queen Bella: NOT COOL!

NiGHTS: THEY'RE VAMPIRES!

Reala : Guys, we have to embrace the fear!

*static appears*

Everyone: WHOA!

Donbalon: Oh s*** he's already on us!

Chamelon: I saw him!

Jackle: We can't embrace the fear!

Reala: BATMAN DID!

NiGHTS: *Sean Connery voice* Sean Connery in a gas mask

Jackle: When you have found all 8 pages, you have my permission to die.

Donbalon: I'm gonna be honest, Bane was terrible.

Chamelon: What the?!

Reala: Bane was the s***!

Jackle: That was so cool!

NiGHTS: WHAT?! BABE WAS AN AWESOME MOVIE, THAT PIG WAS ADORABLE!

Reala: *laughs*

NiGHTS: *Scottish accent* That'll do pig, that'll do.

Bomamba: When it went to the city!

Puffy: A PAGE!

*Reala turns around briefly and spots Slender man*

Jackle and Chamelon: *screams*

NiGHTS: *claps then says a bunch of gibberish*

Puffy: Tom Hardy man! I love that guy!

Chamelon: Tom Hardy's f***in' sick man.

Reala: I think Bane was an excellent character.

Puffy: I also think he's sexy as f***!

Jackle: Yeah, I was gonna say, he should be in porn.

Reala: Ppppfffffffffffttttttt!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Reala: Thanks Jackle!

Bomamba: Who said that? Who said that?

Chamelon: Jackle 'cause he's gay!

Jackle: NO DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Chamelon: JACKLE IS GAY, Jackle is gay, I can't start it up...

Donbalon: TURN AROUND!

Reala: Oh f*** it's a brick wall!

NiGHTS: IT'S A FENCE!

Jackle: She's a brick... HOUSE!

Queen Bella: OH MY GOD, NOOOOOOO!

Puffy: Preserve the run. Your run is limited.

Jackle: I have the runs.

*everyone laughs a little*

Reala: No, that was Donbalon last time.

NiGHTS: Out of his mouth!

Jackle: It's funny 'cause Donbalon pooped himself!

Chamelon: Did Donbalon poop and then puke?

Donbalon: No, I just puked!

Bomamba: He pooped in his mouth!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Puffy: Oh my God!

Jackle: Get away from the wall!

NiGHTS: Get away from the ground!

*spots Slender man*

Jackle: Whoa!

Reala: That was Slender!

Donbalon: That's sketchy!

*static appears on screen*

Everyone: WHOA!

NiGHTS: YOO! EEEYYYOOOOOO!

Reala: I can't get away from the wall 'cause every time I turn, he f***s me!

Puffy: Sweet!

Donbalon: Mmmm...

Jackle: Accept the f***!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Chamelon: Yo, sketchy swing set!

Bomamba: Oh my God!

Queen Bella: Ok swing set, f*** yeah. Gonna party!

Reala: The one thing Slender games were missing was a playground.

NiGHTS: It's so wet, what kinda glue did he use?!

Jackle: *flailing his arms about* Wait, wait! Don't grab the page! THIS IS A SET UP! CHRIS HANSEN IS IN THE TREES!

*Reala grabs the page*

Everyone: *screams*

Chamelon: RUN! RUN!

NiGHTS: Have a seat over there!

Jackle: Yeah! *laughs*

Reala: WHAT THE HELL, THE FLASHING LIGHT!

*NiGHTS falls over onto Reala's lap*

NiGHTS: I'M LOOKING AT YOUR D***! *pulls her face out of Reala's crotch*

Donbalon: Just go to the light man! It's cool!

Reala: That's like a flickering light, that's not even a page!

Puffy: Tuuurrrn arrrooouunnd!

Queen Bella: What the f*** is this?!

Chamelon: Holy s***, what is this?

NiGHTS: Go towards the light!

Jackle: It's the house!

Eveyone: *screaming about the house*

Reala: It's the f***in' house!

NiGHTS: WHOOOOOOO!

Jackle: OH MY GOD, THEY BROUGHT IT BACK!

Puffy: DO IT!

Donbalon: Actually this is a public wash room...

Chamelon: I think we should run right now.

Bomamba: Oh my f***ing God!

Queen Bella: Run right now, right now!

NiGHTS: You know there's one in there!

Jackle: Otherwise you're gonna get ass f***ed!

Reala: The music's gonna get super loud!

Donbalon: Oh f*** this s***!

Bomamba: OOOOOOOOHHH!

Jackle: OOOOOOOOHH F***!

Chamelon: Holy s*** dude!

Queen Bella: Oh f***!

NiGHTS: NO, go back in, go back in!

Reala: NOO F***IN' WAY!

Jackle: There's definitely one in there!

Chamelon: He's right on our d***s...

Reala: I keep thinking he's gonna be right f***in' there...

NiGHTS, Reala, and Jackle: OOOOOOOOOOOOHH!

NiGHTS: It's a graveyard!

Jackle: WHOOOO!

Reala: I think we should all pay a moment of silence.

Donbalon: GET THE F*** OUTTA THERE!

Puffy: GO!

Jackle: GET THE F*** OUT!

NiGHTS: UNDESACRATE NOOOOWW!

*Reala gets caught by Slender man*

Everyone: *screaming and cursing*

NiGHTS: *tries to hide behind Reala*

Jackle: *holding Reala's legs*

Everyone else: *running around in random directions screaming, Bomamba is somehow running on the ceiling*

Chamelon: Holy s***!

Reala: HE HAS F***ING TWEEZERS FOR HANDS!

Everyone: *laughs*

NiGHTS: That's a good looking Slender man!

*Jackle a Reala trade seats, now Jackle is playing*

Jackle: Okay.

NiGHTS: Whohoo!

Reala: We're about to get f***ed up the nipples...

Jackle: K, can I draw, we should draw a map so we...

Donbalon: No, we should draw my d*** so we know how big it is.

Queen Bella: It's tiny!

Chamelon: It's so small!

Reala: Exactly 2 inches.

Jackle: I think we need a back story for this brave soul.

NiGHTS: He was just recently laid off by Fedex.

Everyone but NiGHTS: *laughs*

NiGHTS: And he is now running his own delivery service!

*everyone laughs again*

Jackle: Oh where's the house?

*spots a large tunnel*

Everyone: WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!

NiGHTS: That's a tube!

Reala: That is a tube!

Chamelon: Tuuuuuuuuuubbbee!

Puffy: THAT'S A TUBE!

Donbalon: TUUBBE!

Chamelon: TUUUUUUUUUUUBBEE!

Jackle: No page, no page, NO PAGE!

Bomamba: Yo, check one of the other tubes!

Chamelon: Check the other tube! Check the other tube!

NiGHTS: Ride the tube!

Reala: Ride the Dee! Ride the motha f***in' Dee!

Bomamba: Right!

Queen Bella: Boom! No page!

*character moves crazy fast*

Jackle: Sorry, the sensitivity is retarded in this game...

NiGHTS: I cried in The Bucket List!

Reala: My dad cried during Pokemon!

Jackle: I didn't 'cause they were androids!

Reala: I am not kidding! I was six years old, I look to my right and my dad's like tearing the f*** up! I was like, 'grow up!'!

NiGHTS: I also cried in the notebook. That's a sad movie...

Jackle: We haven't even gotten one page yet.

Queen Bella: Right there!

Bomamba: You know what is sad? A Walk to Remember. A Walk to Remember is sad as f***.

Chamelon: Well I've actually cried in movies so shut the f*** up.

Puffy: The house is on the right, the house is on the right.

NiGHTS: I cried at the end of Batman, I'm not gonna lie. Batman was f***in' sad!

Reala: The f***'s wrong with you?!

Jackle: I cried during the worst movie possible.

NiGHTS: HE F***IN' DIED!

Jackle: I cried during Startrek Nemisis.

Reala: He did not die!

NiGHTS: Well I thought he died!

Reala: Batman dies but Bruce Wayne's still alive!

Jackle: Oh my god, you can hear little kids noise!

Puffy: GO!

Donbalon: Oh s***! That was cool!

Bomamba: Go to the house! Go to the house, it's nearby!

NiGHTS: Do not go to the house!

Queen Bella: Go to the house!

Puffy: Go to the house.

Chamelon: I will murder you penis!

Jackle: I'm a delivery man who also part times as a real-estate agent!

Reala: Excuse me misses, did you order this extra large sausage pizza?

Jackle: He is gonna- we're gonna sell this house!

Reala: Oh you have no money? I wonder how else you could pay me.

Jackle: We gotta sell this house to somebody!

Reala: Oh you dropped your bathrobe, ooh nooo!

Donbalon: It's on the second left!

Bomamba: LEFT!

Jackle: There is interior lighting...

NiGHTS: *laughs*And tiles everywhere!

*Jackle walks into room and everyone freaks out for no reason*

Chamelon: OH THERE'S A PAGE!

Puffy: Pages!

Jackle: Here we have wonderful art!

Reala: AWW BEST FRIEND WHAT THE F***?!

NiGHTS: Aaww that's cute!

Jackle: So, your kids could sleep in that room!

Puffy: *laughs*

Jackle: And what we have right here is uhh-

NiGHTS: THE EXIT!

Reala: NOO GET THE F*** OUT!

Jackle: The master bedroom.

Donbalon: WHAT THE F*** DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!?

Queen Bella: AAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!

Bomamba: *high pitched scream*

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Chamelon: Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunru nrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun!

Reala: RUN!

Jackle: The Neighborhood isn't that good!

*static appears*

Puffy: YOOOO!

Donbalon: F***'N WALK!

NiGHTS: HE'S IN THE BUSHES!

Chamelon: Be careful you can't look around easy!

Reala: A league, a league is like-

NiGHTS: a League of Justice!

Reala: A league is like 20 feet or something...

Bomamba: What's more scary, this-

Jackle: *spots page* Yaaaaaay!

Donbalon: Pay attention to the game!

Bomamba: What's more scary, this or the ets bus service?

NiGHTS: THE TAAAALL MAAAN!

Chamelon: AAAAGGH!

*Slender man appears in the distance*

Everyone: WHOOOAAA!

Reala: YO WHAT THE F***?!

Jackle: THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!

Queen Bella: THERE'S LOTS OF EXITS!

*train whistle is heard*

Jackle: I heard a train!

Bomamba: That was a f***in' train!

NiGHTS: I heard a f***in' train!

Donbalon: Gonna get murdered!

Jackle: Are we a ghost?! 'Cause if we're a ghost we can just f***in'-*turns around*

Reala: What the f*** are you doing!?

Chamelon: GO, you f***in' f***!

Jackle: If we're a ghost, that means Slender man is also a ghost and we can f*** him up!

NiGHTS: OH MY GOD THIS IS LIKE THE SIXTH SENSE!

Puffy: Are we Bruce Willis?

Donbalon: Except there's no Bruce Willis!

Reala: Sorry, spoiler alert, Bruce Willis is dead.

Chamelon: Learn to use the God damned mouse!

NiGHTS: Well if we're gonna die, we're gonna DIE HARD!

Reala: *laughs*

Jackle: HAAAAA!

Donbalon: I don't get it...

Queen Bella: No we are UNBREAKABLE!

Jackle: HAAAA!

Reala: Shut up you... SURROGATE.

NiGHTS: You just gotta follow THE SIGNS!

Puffy: You're so EXPENDABLE!

Jackle: Ok, I have a plan!

Chamelon: Shut up! I'm a family guy!

Everyone: *laughs a little*

Reala: What the f***? That's not Bruce Willis!

Jackle: If we stay on the island...

Chamelon: I thought we were saying movie names.

Jackle: *spots page* YAAAYY!

Donbalon: Run! Run! RUN! RUN!

NiGHTS: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFTTT!

Bomamba: Ass rhymes with s*** butt!

Jackle: Ass s*** butt in the pubes d***!

Reala: Gut s*** n***** butt chuck c***!

NiGHTS: Titty wank up the d*** f*** with the titty s***.

Chamelon: C** on the wall butt f*** s*** dad.

Donbalon: Fill the walrus butt d*** ass!

Jackle: Let's play a game while we wait!

Reala: I filled your b**** with my c*** f*** walrus d***!

NiGHTS: I f***ed your balls on a rake d***.

Jackle: Does anyone wanna play travel Scrabble?

Queen Bella: I f***ed a seal in your ass s***!

Puffy: I filled a seal with you poopy ass!

Jackle: You ass****s, shut the f*** up!

Donbalon: I pooped in your nipple s***!

Bomamba: Slender- oh s***!

NiGHTS: OH HE'S TRICKING US!

Jackle: OK...

Reala: I don't think he's tricking us, I think you're just dumb!

Queen Bella: No, stop!

Donbalon: N***** n***** n***** n***** n***** n***** n*****.

Chamelon: I'M 100% N*****!

Donbalon: N***** n***** n***** n***** n***** n***** n*****.

Chamelon: I'M 200% N*****

Reala: I'm white.

Bomamba: Why the police hate n*****s?

Jackle: OH there's a page here! There is a page here!

Reala: Too bad it's too f***in' late!

Puffy: It's stone hump!

NiGHTS and Reala: Whooooooooooaa!

Jackle: Yeah d*** licker!

NiGHTS: Just run! JUST RUN!

Reala: We die in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

*nothing happens*

Jackle: We cool, we cool.

Reala: Nooooooo!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Reala: Noooooo!

Jackle: Reala was wrong!

Donbalon: Yo go down the slide!

NiGHTS: Aww that's a cute slide actually.

Reala: Shut the f*** up slide!

*Jackle tries to climb up the slide but can't*

Puffy: NOO RUN!

Queen Bella: RUUN RUN!

Donbalon: RUN NOO!

NiGHTS: The slide was a trap!

Reala: Go right you idiot!

Chamelon: WHY ARE YOU GOING RIGHT!?

Jackle: That's where the graveyard is!

Reala: GO RIGHT!

Puffy: STOP GOING THERE!

Jackle: I didn't mean to backtrace from the house!

NiGHTS: NO! Don't go to the house we're gonna die!

Reala: THE HOUSE IS BUTT F*** CENTRAL!

Jackle: Uhhh... 'kay.

NiGHTS: Did you say the house is butt f*** central?

Reala: *nervous laugh* No.

Donbalon: Ya done goofed! Ya done goofed.

Jackle: We have a very feminine pant.

Queen Bella: What are you doing?!

Chamelon: Are we a lady?

Puffy: That's 'cause you're a girl!

Bomamba: DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE!

NiGHTS: Why'd you spin around?!

Reala: You're such a dumbass Jackle!

Jackle: I'm a f***in' ballerina!

Donbalon: I wanna murder your children!

Queen Bella: Oh there's a graveyard!

Jackle: NICE!

NiGHTS: FUNDERFUL!

Reala: On you left, on your left, on your left! It's on the circle.

Bomamba: It might not be there!

Donbalon: It's ok, you got it. You got it!

Chamelon: S*** S*** S***!

Jackle: YESS!

NiGHTS: Whoooo!

*sees Slender man*

Everyone: *SCREAMIN AND YELLING RUN*

Jackle: WE'RE OUT OF RUN!

Reala: PRESS SHIFT YOU F***!

NiGHTS: WE'RE OUT OF RUN?! WE HAVE A FINITE RUN?!

Jackle: WE RUN OUT OF IT!

*Slender man appears again*

Chamelon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!

NiGHTS: I saw his tie! It's a double Windsor!

Everyone: *laughs a little*

Reala: You liar, we can run you f***er!

Donbalon: Turn left you f***!

*everyone argues for a minute for no reason*

Chamelon: You are the worst f***in' player ever!

Puffy: There we go! There we go!

NiGHTS: That's a page!

Reala: OOOH! Holy s***!

Donbalon: Then turn right! Then turn right!

Queen Bella: Yo, we're gonna get f***ed!

Jackle: This is intense!

Bomamba: Go around the building to the right!

NiGHTS: This is the farthest we've ever gotten in a slender game!

Chamelon: I LOVE FORESKIN!

Puffy: BEHIND US!

*Jackle picks up page and everyone starts screaming run again*

Donbalon: *high pitched scream*

Reala: WHY DID YOU USE IT UP THEN!?

Jackle: That was the worst planning!

Puffy: TO THE RIGHT YOU FF-!

NiGHTS: TURN RIGHT!

Chamelon: THERE! You're good, that's a good direction.

Reala: You pile of d*** chee-

*Jackle hits sticky keys*

NiGHTS: NOOOOOO!

Reala: WHAT THE F***?!

Queen Bella: YOU HIT THE CALCULATOR!

Donbalon: WHAT DID YOU DO!?

Jackle: AAAHHH OOH S***!

NiGHTS: HE HIT STICKY KEYS!

Chamelon: OHHH GOD!

Reala: WHAT THE F***!

NiGHTS: YOU CAME ALL OVER THE KEYS!

Jackle: YEAH I'M ALIVE!

Puffy: WE'RE ALIVE! WE'RE ALIVE!

Reala: YOU SON OF A B**** WHAT THE F*** DID-

NiGHTS: HE'S ALIVE!

Everyone: YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!

Bomamba: Holy s***!

Jackle: I'm f***in' badass!

Puffy: You're a genius!

Donbalon: Turn right, turn right!

Reala: *grabs NiGHTS* I like your butt!

NiGHTS: Guys did we go to Stonehenge yet?

Everyone: Yes!

Donbalon: Tuurrn riigghht!

Jackle: There's a f***in' wall!

Donbalon: NO, fence!

Reala: Donbalon you have no idea what's right, shut up!

Bomamba: Leftish, slightly leftish!

Jackle: I'm leftist!

NiGHTS: Name the places we haven't been! Where have we been?

*static*

Everyone: *minor feakout*

Reala: Yo we don't know all the places though.

Jackle: We haven't been in Slender's ass****!

Puffy: We don't know all the places yet!

NiGHTS: It's on his back!

Chamelon: Yeah, I bet you there's only f***in' seven!

Queen Bella: K we've been to the graveyard, the house, Stonehenge, railway station, Broken house, and what's the other one?

Reala: Swing!

Jackle: Swingset!

NiGHTS: OH THE TUNNELS!

Everyone: *arguing about checking the tunnels*

Bomamba: To you right slightly! it's right there I see it!

Donbalon: Stop sprinting.

Puffy: THERE!

Reala: Slow down Jackle! Slow down!

Jackle: We're out of run again!

Chamelon: Slightly to the left, slightly to the left.

NiGHTS: He's f***ing tricking us!

Reala: He's not tricking us, I don't know why the f*** you thought that.

NiGHTS: WHY NOT?

Queen Bella: OH MY GOODNESS NO WAY, THAT HAS TO BE IT!

Donbalon: This is it! This is gonna be it!

Puffy: Holy s***!

Jackle: OH WE'RE GONNA WIN!

NiGHTS: WE ARE SO COOL!

Bomamba: NOO!

Queen Bella: DON'T YOU RUIN THIS FOR ME!

Reala: WHERE ARE YOU GOING JACKLE!?

Jackle: THAT'S THE F***ING HOUSE MAN!

Chamelon: I WILL S*** IN YOUR MOUTH!

NiGHTS: That's a brick wall!

Jackle: That's the f***ing house!

Bomamba: There's no page!

Everybody: *keeps telling Jackle to go left*

NiGHTS: This is the longest we've ever lived!

Donbalon: Don't run!

Chamelon: Stop running!

*Jackle hits sticky keys again, the game is still going and everyone is getting on Jackle's case about it*

Jackle: NOOOOO!

Reala: *throttling Jackle* STOP PRESSING STICKY KEYS YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF S***!

Queen Bella: F***ING IDIOT!

NiGHTS: IN YOUUR AAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Jackle: WHY DO STICKY KEYS EXIST?! WHY DO STICKY KEYS EXIST?!

Chamelon: CLICK!

Bomamba: CLICK YOU F*** HEAD!

Jackle: IT'S F***IN' FROZEN!

Puffy: NO CLICK SLENDER THING!

*sound effect indicates Jackle got caught, everyone proceeds to hit Jackle with pillows, brooms, and whatever is lying around*

Jackle: HE GOT US, HE GOT US!

NiGHTS: YOU SUCK!

Reala: F*** YOU JACKLE! F*** YOU

Queen Bella: F*** YOU!

Puffy: GET THE F*** OUTTA THAT CHAIR!

Jackle: I F***ING GOT TO SEVEN PAGES!

Donbalon: YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF S***!

NiGHTS: I HATE YOUR ASS****!

Queen Bella: WE WERE SO CLOSE TO WINNING!

Jackle: WHY IS STICKY KEYS ON!?

Donbalon: I'm going home, f*** this. *gets up to leave but passes out in a drunken daze*

Jackle: YEAH, WHY DO YOU HAVE STICKY KEYS ON REALA?!

Reala: My f***ing d*** is ripped!

NiGHTS: Why is sticky keys on?!

Jackle: How the f*** do you turn it off?!

* * *

LTP: HOLY MOTHER OF JACK-O-LANTURNS! This is the longest f***ing chapter so far! Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the Halloween special and have a safe Halloween!


	16. Detective Clawz the Crime Solving Cat

LTP: WE'RE BACK!

NiGHTS: YAY!

Reala: *sarcastically* Yippie...

Jackle: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *tossing cards everywhere*

Reala: Why is Clawz here?

LTP: Because the next sketch requires a cat for the main character. Who better than Clawz? Now then, SAY THE DISCLAIMER CLAWZ!

Clawz: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Detective Mittens.

LTP: If I actually owned the NiGHTS franchise, there would be more than two NiGHTS games... PLACES!

* * *

Detective Clawz the Crime Solving Cat

(opens in an alley roped off with police tape. Clawz is sitting on top of a dumpster as he and Reala investigate a mangled corpse)

Reala: Well what do you think Clawz? Fourth body this month, same characteristics. Sliced from chin to toe, his insides scooped up, ground up, and then... put back in.

Clawz: Meow meow meow meow meow.

Reala: I agree, there's no denying it now. We've got a serial killer on our hands.

Clawz: Meow meow meow

*Clawz jumps off the dumpster and proceeds to use the corpse as a litter box*

Reala: Wait what? Clawz no, AH AWWWWW!

Clawz: Mmmeow meow meow meow.

Reala: Aw for the love of Wizeman, a corpse is not a box Clawz.

Clawz: Meow meow meow.

Reala: Aww, this is, so unsanitary. That's evidence Clawz, you're rolling around in gooey smelly evidence.

Clawz: Meow meow meow meow?

Reala: Tha-, no I'm not in the mood for spaghetti!

Clawz: Meow meow.

Reala: Well you get what you want, I'm not hungry. My goodness.

(later at the Police Department)

*Clawz takes out his lunch at his desk and is annoyed to see it's not what he wanted*

Clawz: Meow meow MEOW!

(At Jackle's Itailian)

*phone rings*

Jackle: Jackle's Italian, how can I help you?

Claws: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Jackle: Whoa, whoa slow down, what's the problem?

Clawz: Meow meow MEOW! Meow meow meow meow meow meow!

Jackle: Okay so your order's wrong.

Clawz: MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Jackle: Sorry, sorry about that. I'll be happy to replace it for you. I'll even throw in some free garlic knots.

(back at the Police Department)

Clawz: Meow meow, meow meow!

Reala: Clawz, a new body turned up!

Clawz: Meow meow?

Reala: Yes, same as the others.

Clawz: Meow meow.

(later at the park)

Reala: As you can see we found this one fresh. It looks like we're getting-

*Clawz uses the corpse as litterbox again*

Reala: Oh no Clawz, ah AWWWW.

Clawz: Meow meow meow.

Reala: If you keep doing this I'm gonna stop taking you.

(later at the Police Department)

*Clawz takes out his new lunch and sees it is STILL not what he wanted*

Clawz: Grrr...

(Jackle's Italian)

*phone rings*

Jackle: Hello Jackle's Itali-

Clawz: MEOW meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

Jackle: Wrong again, are you, are you sure?

Clawz: Meow meow, meow meow meow meow.

Jackle: I, I'm very sorry, I'm not sure how this happened.

Clawz: Meow meow, meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow, meow meow, meow meow meow, meow MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!

Jackle: Now hold on a minute. Those kinda threats are way outta line. I'm calling the police.

*Jackle hangs up the phone and re-calls*

(the Police Department)

Clawz: Meow meow?

Jackle: Hello Police Department?

Clawz: Meow meow meow meow meow.

Jackle: Yeah I'd like to file a report, I just had my life threatened, ...and my mother's sexual decency brought into question.

Clawz: Meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

Jackle: Well thank you. When should I expect the officer?

Clawz: Meow, meow meow meow.

Jackle: That's perfect, I'll be here. *hangs up phone*

Clawz: Meow meow meow meeeooowww.

(Jackle's Italian)

*Clawz hops onto the counter wearing a fake moustache and a monocle*

Jackle: Oh hey thanks for coming. I'm sure it's nothing but, you know I take threats very seriously.

Clawz: Meow meow meow, meow meow?

Jackle: No I don't recognize you, should I? You eat here a lot or something?

Clawz: Meow meow, MEOW! *takes off disguise*

Jackle: Uhhh no, sorry still nothing. I'm actually usually in the back.

Clawz: Hisssssss!

(Police Department)

Reala: Clawz I got your message, what's the, whoa!

*camera zooms out to reveal a dead and bloody Jackle at Clawz's desk*

Reala: Who's the dead guy?

Clawz: Meow meow meow meow.

Reala: The serial killer? But I, I just caught the serial killer an hour ago. Local accountant, tried to write off the time spent gutting people as a business expense.

Clawz: Mmmmeow meow meow meow meow.

Reala: Ahh your right. Your guy must've been an accomplice then. Hey, isn't that Jackle from the Italian place down the street? Why does his throat look like it's been clawed open?

Clawz: Mmmeow meow meow meow?

Reala: Yes I suppose suicide makes sense. Couldn't live with the guilt. Well good work Clawz... you scary f***ing cat.

* * *

LTP: THAT'S A WRAP EVERYONE! I need some clam chowder.

NiGHTS: Clawz, how did LTP even convince you to take part in this sketch anyway?

Clawz: Well... *shifty eyes*

LTP: Here ya go Clawz, five pounds of catnip, as promised!

Reala: She bribed you with catnip?

Clawz: DON'T JUDGE ME! *runs off with the catnip*

Jackle: *throwing more cards everywhere* CONFETTI!

Reviews please.


	17. NiGHTS and Reala Play Skyrim

LTP: SKETCH TIME!

Reala: I've been meaning to ask, why are you always yelling in the intro and outro?

LTP: 'cause yelling is fun!

Jackle: I HEAR THAT! *tosses cards everywhere*

LTP: Ok Reala, hurry on over to NiGHTS' room so we can get on with the next sketch. Jackle you say the disclaimer.

Reala: Whatever. *flies off*

Jackle: LTP doesn't own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, Two Best Friends, or Skyrim!

LTP: *item get jingle from zelda* ~LET'S START THE SHOW!

* * *

NiGHTS and Reala Play Skyrim

*opens in NiGHTS' room where she and Reala are in front of a large TV, sitting in beanbag chairs*

Reala: You ready to play some Skyrim?

NiGHTS: Not really.

Reala: Come on, man! It's like a million hours long!

NiGHTS: I've never heard of this game.

Reala: It's the hypest game that's currently existing!

NiGHTS: Well they should've advertised it.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Dragons are for nerds. Like Dragonlance.

Reala: You know what else- *laughs* You were going to say s***'s for nerds and then you bring up Dragonlance?! You f***ing nerd!

NiGHTS: HA HA HA!

{~~~}

Ralof: You were trying to cross the border right?

NiGHTS: I sure was, Squizgar.

{~~~}

Reala: This guy's really selling his-

*prisoner tries to run off*

Reala: WHAT?!

NiGHTS: Look at him go!

Imperial Captain: ARCHERS!

NiGHTS: See ya later f***ers!

*prisoner gets taken down by an arrow*

Reala: OH S***!

NiGHTS: OOHH! BLEGH!

Reala: Look at that ragdoll!

NiGHTS: BLEGH!

Hadvar: Who are you?

Reala: Oh I get it. Heeeyy! I look exactly like that other guy!

NiGHTS: *laughing*

Reala: We got Orcs...

NiGHTS: *sarcastically* They look really good.

Reala : Yeah, they look pretty good.

{~~~}

*switches to Wood Elf*

NiGHTS: Whoa! That's not an elf!

Reala: That's totally an elf.

NiGHTS: That's a goblin!

Reala: They look like freaky alien dudes.

{~~~}

Reala: You got human guys.

*switches to Dark Elf*

NiGHTS: Dark el-

NiGHTS and Reala: WHOA!

{~~~}

*switches to High Elf*

Reala: You got these guys.

NiGHTS: Why are all these elves ugly as s***?

Reala: Because elves are s***ty.

NiGHTS: Elves are supposed to look like Tyrande Whisperwind.

Reala: ...WHAT?!

{~~~}

*switches to Khajiit*

NiGHTS: WHAT?!

Reala: S***!

NiGHTS: Oh, Thundercats Ho!

Reala: Oh, Wizeman!

NiGHTS: Turn this game off!

Reala: Okay, I've got a solution. *scrolls to Argonian* Pick this f***ing guy.

NiGHTS: Why?

Reala: Because he's a f***ing lizard dude.

NiGHTS: So what are you going to name this f***er?

Reala: What do you think I'm gonna f***ing to name him?!

{~~~}

Reala: ...You know what? You know what's better than being invisible?

NiGHTS: What?

Reala: Being invisiblessed.

NiGHTS: Why?

Reala: BECAUSE YOU'RE SO INVISIBLE!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: *Imitating Imperial Guards* Couldn't he be the prince of a foreign land? I hope so, kill him anyway! This will look good on my resume when I go apply for Imperial Ass**** College.

Reala: *laughing*

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Probably gonna get killed.

*executioner chops a prisoner's head off*

Reala: OH!

NiGHTS: Nailed it!

{~~~}

*Dragon appears*

NiGHTS: Oh s***! It's Falcor!

Reala: ...NO!

NiGHTS: It's Death Wing!

Reala: Yeah, it's Death Wing.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: *Looking at an ice pick* So this is what dentists used in the land of Elder scrolls.

Reala: Yeah, those cavities are a b****, they're inhabited by the Daedra.

{~~~}

Reala: Alright, I'm gonna sneak up on this dude. I'm gonna shoot him because I'm _invisible._

*shoots arrow, misses*

Reala: Okay, well, Maybe I'll shoot him this time.

*shoot arrow, hits*

Both: YEAH!

{~~~}

Reala: *spots an enemy* What ya got?

*shoots arrow and kills enemy*

Reala: ARROW TO FACE!

NiGHTS: ARROWED!

{~~~}

Reala: _Sneakin' with my silent little lizard feet..._

{~~~}

Reala: YEAH!

*giant rat appears*

Reala: OH!

NiGHTS: I see you brought your friends with you!

Reala: What you got?

NiGHTS: I call the big one Bitey!

{~~~}

Reala: I gotta cut through this spider web with my mace!

{~~~}

*giant spider drops down*

Reala: What the f***!?

NiGHTS: *laughing loudly*

Reala: OK!

NiGHTS: I DROPPED DOWN ON TINY SLIENT SPIDER FEET!

{~~~}

Reala: DIE!

*spider dies*

Reala: Yeah!

NiGHTS: Oh man, you sure killed it.

Reala: Right in your face you dumb b****!

NiGHTS: You should totally teabag that spider. *laughs* Do it!

{~~~}

Reala: Where's the claw? I want the claw!

NiGHTS: WHERE'S MY SON!?

{~~~}

NiGHTS: The majestic Arctic wolf, beautiful in its simplicity. It is a wonderful predator, that-

Reala: THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS!

{~~~}

Reala: Hey, check this. *kills chicken* F*** you chicken!

NiGHTS: What?

Reala: No, check it. *uses zombie spell* Now the chicken is my thrall! It's a zombie chicken! *kills chicken again* And it's dead!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

{~~~}

NiGHTS: What's a bobo?

Reala: a hired thug.

NiGHTS: Hired goons! Hired go-

*thug swings an axe at Reptile*

NiGHTS and Reala: WHOAA!

{~~~}

Reala: So, I picked up that note off those f***in' dudes *reads note aloud* Here is the agreed upon amount. I expect you to faithfully carry out the blah kill Reptile. Don't need to kill him but I have no- Dorthe?!

NiGHTS: Dorthe wants you dead, what'd you do to her?

Reala: I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID!

{~~~}

Reala: Okay, where the f*** is she?

NiGHTS: Dorthe?

Reala: Yeah. Where the f***-

NiGHTS: Dorthe.

Reala: There she is! WHY DID YOU HIRE ASSASSINS?! YOU'RE NOT FRIENDLY WITH STRANGERS!

NiGHTS: The f***?

Reala: I'm gonna shoot you in your f***ing mouth!

*dog appears out of nowhere*

NiGHTS: Whoa what the f*** is wrong with that dog?!

Reala: WHAT?! *aims at the dog*

NiGHTS: NOOO!

Reala: NOW DIE! *kills dog*

NiGHTS: This is not right at all!

Reala: THAT KID TRIED TO KILL ME AND HER GHOST DOG TRIED TO FINISH THE JOB! THAT GHOST DOG WILL SERVE ME NOW! *uses zombie spell*

NiGHTS: HA HA! NOO!

Reala: Oh Wizeman, her parents are getting in on it!

NiGHTS: HER PARENTS WANT A PIECE!

*parents kill the zombie dog*

NiGHTS and Reala: OOOHH!

NiGHTS: THE DOG!

Reala: The dog just went back to the future!

NiGHTS: I'm sick of your bulls***!

Reala: This is between me and Dorthe and these f***ers are just getting all up in it!

*Reala starts beating up Gerder's corpse*

Reala: WHAT GERDER?! WHAT?! WHAT DO YA GOT?!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Listen Xena.

Reala: Are those ladies trying to make out and I'm interrupting them?

NiGHTS: You should probably leave and watch from a distance.

Reala: They're in an open field!

NiGHTS: Watch from a distance!

{~~~}

Reala: Everybody's like, 'There's f***in' dragons out there! Did you hear there's dragons?'.

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Reala: Holy s***! Yo, this dude I was talkin' to, he was like 'Oh man there's a dragon over here!'.

NiGHTS: OH LIKE, REALLY?! REALLY?!

Reala: I was talkin' to Betsy on the phone, and she had to leave 'cause a dragon was burning her house down.

NiGHTS: *fake voice* That f***in' sucks 'cause I was gonna tell her how I feel.

{~~~}

Irileth: Could you call yourselves Nords if you ran from this monster?

Reala: I'm not a Nord! I'm like a lizard guy!

Whiterun Gaurd: We're so dead.

NiGHTS: Who's dead?

Reala: What? Who are you?!

{~~~}

Reala: That is a long, uh-

*dark elf ally teleports onto path*

Reala: WHAT?!

NiGHTS: Dark Elves are magical!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: I'm so confused!

Reala: Skyrim is a magical place where anything can happen!

NiGHTS: HA HA HA!

{~~~}

*dragon appears and breathes fire on the battlefield*

Reala: OH F***!

NiGHTS: DRAGON DON'T PLAY NO S***!

{~~~}

Whiterun Gaurd: I can't believe it! you're... Dragonborn...

NiGHTS: WHOOAA! Dude!

Reala: OK, I know I'm cool!

{~~~}

*Reala checks his new ability*

Reala: Unrelenting Force... OK.

NiGHTS: What's your force like? *mimics Reala* Eh, it's unrelenting.

Reala: It doesn't give up.

{~~~}

*village shakes around*

Reala: Whoa, what the f***?

NiGHTS: S***! What the f*** now? Bad acoustics in here...

Reala: People are always yelling and shouting

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Reala: *exaggerated yelling* HOW ARE YOU?!

NiGHTS: *exaggerated yelling* FINE!

{~~~}

Reala: Who the f*** is that? M'aiq the Liar?

M'aiq: M'aiq knows much and tells some.

NiGHTS: He looks like he's from the cover of connectimals!

M'aiq: M'aiq is done talking.

NiGHTS: M'aiq's done talking huh?

Reala: You'll be done talking now f***er!

NiGHTS: Be careful.

*Reala shoots arrow into M'aiq's mouth*

NiGHTS: OW! MY MOUTH!

Reala: Wow, he took that-

NiGHTS: YEAH!

Reala: Lydia, get him!

NiGHTS: UGH! OOH I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE-

{~~~}

*Lydia has an arrow stuck in her face*

Reala: WOW! You are a tough dame!

NiGHTS: *laughs*

Reala: *sees M'aiq is back* What the hell?!

NiGHTS: You're back?!

Reala: How do you keep? *shoots arrow*

M'aiq: Aggh!

NiGHTS: AAAGGH!

{~~~}

*Reala looks up at the sky, aurora is visible*

Reala: Look at that s***.

NiGHTS: This is some nonsensical bulls***. What are we doing here?

Reala: Shut up man, I'm looking at the sky. it's beautiful.

{~~~}

NiGHTS: AURORA BOREALIS! *attacks a Whiterun gaurd* AT THIS TIME OF THE DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY IN THIS VILLAGE!

Reala: This guy's an ass****. I just wanna look at the sky.

NiGHTS: HA HA!

Reala: Look how pretty that s***- wait what!? I was just lookin' at the sky!

NiGHTS: 40 gold, give him gold!

Reala: I'm not going to prison for sky watching!

*Reptile dies*

NiGHTS: YOU DIED DOING WHAT YOU LOVED!

{~~~}

*NiGHTS and Reala are looking at a Frost Troll*

NiGHTS: Pfffffttt!

Reala: *laughing* COME AT ME BRO!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: What happened?!

Reala: I murdered those b****es.

NiGHTS: Why?

Reala: 'Cause they called me a f***ing peasant.

NiGHTS: I guess...

Reala: Reptile is invisible!

{~~~}

Reala: Yo, check this out!

*Reptile turns invisible*

Reala: F***IN' INVISIBLE!

NiGHTS: They can't see you at all.

Reala: They can't see s*** 'cause I'm Reptile f***in' invisi- *Reptile gets hit* what the f***?!

NiGHTS: It didn't work.

{~~~}

*Reptile is on fire*

Reala: F***!

{~~~}

Reala: WHAT?! He can just leave?!

NiGHTS: No, he's still there!

Reala: WHY?!

{~~~}

*Reptile crouches and Lydia copies it*

Reala: Lydia! YEAH GIRL!

NiGHTS: *laughs loudly*

Reala: YEAH! WE'RE TEABAGGING ALL THE BANDITS!

NiGHTS: HOO! HOO! HOO! HOO!

{~~~}

*looking at a mountain*

NiGHTS: That's some misty ass bulls***.

Reala: Yeah, that's that oh we couldn't render it 'cause the game or-

NiGHTS: So we're gonna put this turoc fog everywhere. Yeeeaaah!

Reala: Aw yeah! I'm on top of the f***in' world!

*Reptile jumps off*

Reala: You know what that means!

NiGHTS: Oh no, s***!

Reala: YEAH!

NiGHTS: NICE!

*Reptile dies*

NiGHTS and Reala: WHAT?!

{~~~}

Reala: Oh no, I'm drunk.

NiGHTS: *fake slur* No problemesh.

Reala: I'm about to pass out and rape me in all my weird lizard holes.

{~~~}

NiGHTS and Reala: What?

Senna: That's right, it's time to wake up, you drunken blasphemer!

Reala: Drunken? What the f***?

*Lydia walks in*

Reala: Lydia?

NiGHTS: Lydia, what happened?

{~~~}

*observing the new area*

Reala: What the? Where the f*** is this?

NiGHTS: Where the hell- what happened?

Reala: I've never seen this place!

*opens map*

Reala: Where- how the? Where am? HOW THE F*** DID I GET OVER-

{~~~}

Reala: I NEED TO WASH MY SHAME OFF IN THIS WATERFALL!

NiGHTS: WATERFALL OF EMOTION!

{~~~}

Skjor: Are you prepared to join your spirit with the beast world, friend?

Reala: Can I be a lizard beast man?

NiGHTS: It's my animality.

*Skjor pulls out sword*

NiGHTS and Reala: WHOA!

Reala: Okay, what is the process of this?

NiGHTS: What?

Reala: ooh, I get it.

NiGHTS: OK.

*Skjor cuts werewolf's arm, and poor animation fills the altar*

NiGHTS and Reala: *laughing*

{~~~}

*Reptile runs around as a werewolf*

Reala: YEAH WE'RE A F***IN' WEREWOLF!

NiGHTS: BEAST MODE!

Reala: Oh what about you Belthor?! What?!

*kills Belthor*

NiGHTS: OH S***! OH NOO!

Reala: F*** YOU BELTHOR!

{~~~}

*poor animation transformation from werewolf to Argonian*

NiGHTS and Reala: *laughing*

Reala: Yeah, that's how werewolves transform back! That's how that works!

{~~~}

Reala: Dude, thanks!

*Giant kills Reptile*

Reala: OOH!

NiGHTS: *laughs* I saw that coming!

{~~~}

Reala: AW YEAH! I GOT MY SWORD IN MY HANDS!

NiGHTS: YOU'RE TOO POWERFUL!

*Reptile dies*

NiGHTS: Or not powerful enough...

Reala: Being a werewolf f***in' sucks man.

{~~~}

*bear and dragon are fighting*

NiGHTS: THE NUMBER ONE PROBLEM IN AMERICA, BEARS!

{~~~}

Grelod: And one more thing! I will hear no more talk of adoptions! None of you riff-raff is getting adopted. Ever! Nobody needs you, nobody wants you.

Reala: WHAT?!

NiGHTS: Man, this is like a look into your childhood.

Reala: This is horrible!

NiGHTS: I know.

Reala: She's making the kids recite fascist pledges. She's going DOWN!

*Reala shoots an arrow at Grelod, Grelod is now dead*

NiGHTS: HOLY F***!

{~~~}

NiGHTS: Hey, what's up kids?

Francois: I can't believe it! Grelod is dead! She's really dead!

Hraor: Someone has killed Grelod! Ha ha ha ha!

Reala: WHAT THE F***?!

NiGHTS: I LIKE THESE KIDS!

Reala: Why are these kids jumping up and down?!

Runa: Aventus really did it! He got the Dark Brotherhood to kill old Grelod! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Reala: Who the f*** is Aventus?!

NiGHTS: Who's the Dark Brotherhood?

*children continue to celebrate*

NiGHTS: CELEBRATE ME!

Reala: This is the creepiest s***!

Runa: Kill one person, and you can solve so many problems. I wonder at the possibilities.

NiGHTS: WHOOOOAAAAA!

Reala: WHAT THE F***?!

* * *

LTP: If I owned an Xbox, I would be playing Skyrim, like, all the time, and never stop.

Jackle: *still tossing cards around while yelling '52 Pickup!'*

NiGHTS: Jackle, quit throwing your cards around! The janitor won't stop complaining about it!

LTP: Well, I'm gonna go punch Wizeman in the face, see 'yall next time!

Reala: What, I don't get any lines in the outro?

LTP: NOPE!

Reviews makes puppies seem cuter!


	18. Flame War

LTP: ~HERE WE ARE AGAIN ON OUR OWN!~

Reala: *sarcastically* Terrific...

NiGHTS: I actually get to be in this one! YAY!

Jackle: COCK A DOODLE DOO! THE COW SAYS MOO! I AM THE WALRUS, KUKU KACHOO!

NiGHTS and Reala: ... What the f***?

LTP: ... ok, I will give you twenty bucks if you can say something more random than that.

Jackle: Mustard!

LTP: Damn! *hands over twenty dollars then points to Reala* Reala! DISCLAIMER!~

Reala: *sighs* LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Dick Figures...

LTP: *to the tune of the A Team theme* ~WE ARE NOW, STARTING THE SHOW!~

* * *

Flame War

(Reala and Jackle are both on a drop zone in their Roflcopter)

Jackle: All right! We're over the drop zone! The objective is somewhere inside! Stay frosty!

Reala: Let's pwn some noobs!

Jackle: This is gonna be awesoooooooome!

*Jackle and Reala jump off, Reala screams*

Jackle: Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

*Reala uses his parachute*

Jackle: Oooooh!

*Jackle doesn't have one and crashes through the roof of a mall in Nightmare. Camera zooms into the mall's front door, there are posters with Flame War on it. Meanwhile, Jackle crashes into the floor and leaves a self-print on it. He stands up immediately*

Jackle: Yeah!

*Reala drops down gently with his parachute. Bullets are being fired at them*

Reala: It's a trap!

Jackle: Duck below!

*Reala and Jackle run away. Jackle fires his rifle at the enemies*

Jackle: Pew! Pew! Pew, God mode turn on! I think they're f***ing hacking!

*both Nightmaren jump behind some sacks*

Jackle and Reala: Ugh!

*Jackle puts out his head, Reala follows but only half his head is visible*

Jackle: Activating day vision goggles! *takes out a pair of binoculars*

Reala: Those are binoculars.

*Jackle looks around with his binoculars and sees random fights, shoppers shoot bullets at each other with rifles, bazookas, a tank, etc. A hand grenade is thrown on a sack, and before the shoppers can run for it, they explode, Jackle then finds the game*

Jackle: Reala, there it is! The best video game ever released!

*Reala looks into the other side of the binoculars*

Reala: And there's only one copy?!

Jackle: *deep voice* And it's mine. *loads a shotgun* Click click.

*Jackle and Reala jump out of the sacks and runs for the video game*

Jackle: Die HAXORS!

*Jackle shoots a Nightmaren with his shotgun but misses, he then throws two ninja stars at a Nightmaren with side burns in the eyes. Reala shoots a Nightmaren in a top hat with his sniper, Jackle uses a flame thrower*

Jackle: LET 'EM BURN!

*Reala hides behind a plant and sees NiGHTS with a coffee cup in hand*

NiGHTS: Wow, I love a man in uniform.

Reala: Thank- *clears throat hard* Thanks. You think that's something? Watch this!

*Reala aims his scope at Owl. He tries to shoot him but the magazine falls out*

Reala: Got 'em.

*Jackle goes on a killing spree. He jumps over a table, landing on his back shooting a Nightmaren who follows him. He then hops on a Nightmaren with sunglasses, twisting the 'Maren's neck with his knees while shooting another Nightmaren in the face with handgun. Jackle then rides a skateboard while a machine gun is fired at him. He picks up an axe on a passing table, hacking another Nightmaren before throwing the axe at a shield that ricochets right at the gunner's head. Then the camera cuts back to Reala and NiGHTS*

Reala: *leaning on his rifle* So...you come here a lot?

NiGHTS: No, I just got off work.

Reala: WOW, you're successful.

*the camera goes back to Jackle, when a Nightmaren with an eye patch approaches behind him, he shoots him*

Jackle: BOOM, headshot!

*another Nightmaren approaches in front of him and Jackle hits him with the shotgun*

Jackle: Killing spree!

*a third Nightmaren comes in front of Jackle, and Jackle drives the shotgun through the man's head*

Jackle: Running riot!

*a knight-like Nightmaren comes in front of Jackle and tries to kill him, but Jackle lifts him up and tears him into two pieces*

Jackle: Kill-tacular!

*Jackle jumps into the air and suddenly a Batman costume appears out of nowhere*

Jackle: I'm Batman!

*Jackle gets closer and closer to the game, camera cuts back to Reala and NiGHTS*

NiGHTS: Well... I better be going.

Reala: Oh, let me walk you out. *deep voice* We need to be careful. There's Charlie in the bushes.

*The camera looks at the bush where a gnome-like Nightmaren is sitting*

Gnome Nightmaren: My name's Jake.

*camera cuts back to Reala and NiGHTS*

NiGHTS: I think I'm okay...*starts walking away*

Reala: *whispering* Frack!

*camera cuts to Jackle as he breaks the glass case surrounding the game, then cuts back to Reala as he throws a grenade towards NiGHTS*

Reala: Look out!

*Reala tackles NiGHTS in an attempt to make himself look heroic right before the grenade explodes*

NiGHTS: UGH!

*camera cuts back to Jackle as he slowly reaches for the game then cuts back to Reala and NiGHTS*

Reala: *pulls his face out of NiGHTS' chest* Oh, my Wizeman, I saved your life! Looks like you owe me dinner or something, ri- Is this how this works?

NiGHTS: Sure. How 'bout Friday?

Reala: *to himself happily* Yessss.

*camera cuts back to Jackle*

Jackle: *holding up the game* Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessss!

*camera cuts back to Reala and NiGHTS*

Reala: Well, I guess I'll... see you Fri-

Jackle: *running toward Reala* We gotta get outta here, dude!

Reala: Why?

Jackle: "C4" yourself!

*camera shows a large pile of C4 bombs before cutting back to Jackle as he fires a grappling hook, grabs Reala, and swings out of the store and into the Roflcopter. The mall explodes*

Jackle: OVERKILL!

*NiGHTS gets out of the store, angry and covered in soot*

NiGHTS: D***s.

*later, Jackle and Reala are sitting on a couch. Jackle is holding the game.*

Jackle: *opens the game box* Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

*takes the disk out*

Jackle: Oh, man. Oh, man.

*inserts the game into a console*

Jackle: Oh, man! Oh, man. Oh, man.

*Jackle and Reala are both holding controllers*

Jackle: It's starting!

*LEVEL 01: TEH FORUM appears on the screen. It then shows the game, which is a Roflcopter shooting at various Internet memes, youtube viral video pics, angry birds picture, microsoft and others. Jackle and Reala sit with shocked expressions on their faces. Jackle starts fighting the first boss, Pedobear*

Jackle: LEEROOOOOYYYY JEEN-

* * *

LTP: HOORAYS! ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE!

Jackle: *shouting in Reala's ear* I'M A CHEESE FART PAPERCLIP!

Reala: *holding his ear* Oh that's great, make me go deaf!

NiGHTS: *laughing*

LTP: LONG LIVE RANDOMNESS!

~Reviews make the world go 'round!


	19. Nightmarens with Hats 4

LTP: Well, I knew it would come to this eventually, the last Nightmarens with Hats sketch. Oh well. Reala, DISCLAIMER!

Reala: LTP does not own NiGHTS into Dreams, NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, or Llamas with Hats. Stupid Dreamer...

LTP: HEY, watch it Reala, or I actually might go through with the fourth Charlie the Unicorn sketch as well as Charlie teh Unicron.

Reala: ...

Note: No Nightopians were harmed in the making of this sketch.

* * *

Nightmaren with Hats 4

(opens in NiGHTS' room. There is mud tracked on the carpet)

NiGHTS: Jaaackle, you've tracked mud all over the carpet.

Jackle: Now that right there is a mess!

NiGHTS: I just had it cleaned yesterday, Jackle!

Jackle: I'm not responsible for this! I've been jamming on the saxophone all morning!

NiGHTS: They're clearly your foot prints Jackle!

Jackle: Then there is an impostor on the loose!

NiGHTS: They lead directly to you!

Jackle: Clue number one, the impostor is a phantom!

NiGHTS: Jackle, stop avoid-

*loud explosion followed by the wall being blown away, reveals a destroyed city consumed flames with a large mushroom cloud in the background*

NiGHTS: ... JAAAACCKLE!

Jackle: Happy Birthday!

NiGHTS: It's not...please tell me you had nothing to do with this?!

Jackle: Why don't you blow out your candle?

NiGHTS: You've gone too far this time, Jackle!

Jackle: What's that? It's hard to hear you over the sound of melting city.

NiGHTS: How did you even do this?

Jackle: A dollop of fairy dust!

NiGHTS: JACKLE.

Jackle: I ripped a tag off a mattress!

NiGHTS: This isn't funny, Jackle!

Jackle: Who's laughing? Clearly not all the Nightopians who just exploded!

NiGHTS: I'm leaving. I've had enough of this!

Jackle: But think of all the perfectly roasted faces we get to munch on now!

NiGHTS: What? Why?

Jackle: Because we're friends, and friendship is two pals munching on a well cooked face together.

NiGHTS: That isn't friendship Jackle, that's sick!

Jackle: Well then you're probably not going to like your birthday decorations!

NiGHTS: It's not even my...oh my gosh!

*Several Nightopian faces float by hanging on balloons*

Jackle: SURPRISE!

NiGHTS: Ah oh uh no ah uh!

Jackle: I'm sorry! I thought you liked faces. Obviously there was a miscommunication.

NiGHTS: This is awful Jackle!

Jackle: You're right. It's not nearly as tasteful as I pictured it in my head.

NiGHTS: I think I'm going to throw u- oh God one touched me!

Jackle: This was clearly the wrong way to go.

NiGHTS: Ya think, Jackle?!

Jackle: What can I say? I expected them to be cooked more. Raw face is just gross.

NiGHTS: But that isn't the problem, Jackle! Why would you think any of this is a good idea?

Jackle: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

NiGHTS: Oh...

Jackle: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

* * *

LTP: And that my friends, is the real reason why NiGHTS left Nightmare.

NiGHTS: ... those weren't actual Nightopian faces right? *inches away from Reala who keeps bothering her with a Nightopian face*

LTP: Nah, they're made of latex. And Reala, stop freaking NiGHTS out with the props!

Reala: Fine, ruin my fun. *throws the prop over his shoulder*

Jackle: *playing a saxophone like the Epic Sax Guy*

Reviews please~


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